The Official Passing of the Elevenses


So a little backstory. When I was a wee youngin’  AGES and AGES ago.. My mother started Elevenses with me. Back then I was tiny with ginormous eyeballs, so she’d hold me and talk to my big giant eyes at about 11pm. This continued for quite some time, and became the Elevenses Tradition. When I was a teenager, this would be my time to have a cup of tea and chat about my day, clearing my noggin for sleeping. It remains to the present, albeit less often due to my own collection of tiny creatures with ginormous eyeballs.

 

Which brings me to the Official Passing of the Elevenses.

 

Biggest and I have had our challenges. His mannerisms remind me of my sister and my husband, and yet, he’s definitely his own person. He takes a whole bunch of stuff in through silent, mostly unnoticeable observation. His brain goes a bazillion miles a minute, and he thinks WAY more than he lets on. In so many ways, he’s my complete opposite. And as such…. I haven’t got the first clue about how to really connect with him. (Littlest I find easier, because he’s me. Really. Which is exasperating but familiar. And he’s got a comedic streak that will put you at serious risk of cracking up at extremely inopportune moments.)

 

And that is where today comes in. I have had a heck of a time the last week. He KNOWS that I’m struggling to understand where he’s coming from. And he’s lonely. I don’t see a lot of him sometimes, and it makes me really sad when I see that on his face. So today, it all blew up. I was pissed. He was pissed. He didn’t want to listen. I didn’t want to listen. The crux of the matter, our mutual frustration point as it were, was getting out the door. I get so much sass when we’re travelling, and getting boots on to go anywhere causes me significant anxiety for the amount of fuss that occurs. And so… Mr. Handler helped us out. He sat me and Biggest on the couch, and got Biggest to tell me what was actually up, while helping me keep my anger down so I could listen. Did I feel like I was 5 again? Maybe a little. Did I need to be 5 again? Yes. Once we’d said our pieces, and understood what was going on… we ended up under a blanket laying on a pillow.

 

And began our Elevenses.

 

It’s really more like Sixes. Actually, we gave it a new name. Pillow Stacking. We dragged a whole bunch of pillows into a pile and snuggled up. And we talked. Turns out, both of us hate taking our pajamas off, because we’ve spent ALL night warming them up. Neither of us like turning the TV off. And both of us like to snuggle. Who knew? Something in common after all. Long story short, I told him if he used the code word “Pillow Stacking”, I would make every effort to put everything down, grab some pillows and pile underneath some blankets so we could talk. They say good relationships start with communication, so I’m optimistic. (This is really my first foray into my children actually growing up… and I thought 3am feedings were hard…)

 

Also.

Who doesn’t love being in a pile of pillows???

Also.

Littlest told me, after I got my hair cut this afternoon, that I looked like Daddy now.

Also.

Littlest has gotten a case of the DOODLE DOODLE DOOOOOs… a thing of my own creation. While he has not inserted his sing song doodles into a silent prayer time at church like I did… He did start doodling on a VERY VERY quiet bus.

Also.

Biggest coloured in the lines in an adult colouring book. In fact, he may just have coloured closer to the lines than I do.

Also.

Biggest has started to read words.

Also.

Tonight, Biggest got me to drive him to the dining room table in a laundry bucket. I may or may not have also been in the bucket. Biggest likes red lights. It was a pretty tight squeeze, but I hear Mommy power is an extremely clean and almost sustainable energy source.

 

That’s it for now.

Mrs. Handler

It’s finally happened. I’ve gone cuckoo.


You know, I always have the best of intentions in getting time to write these things. And always something comes up. Like a couple of weeks ago? When I took a fancy picture of my wrapped up hand and said “STORY COMING SOON!”? Well.. I lied. Actually I didn’t, but the story couldn’t be written because I didn’t think about the fact that I couldn’t type. (Oops).

SO! NOW I CAN TYPE AGAIN! YAY!

Turns out, I did a bunch of stuff that week, went a little overboard in my cross training, and moved a washer. 3am and a $40 cab ride to the ER… sprained it. The official term is “sinovitis” or some such creation meaning “swollen joint”. Let me tell you. Typing with one hand is absolutely infuriating, and tying tea bags closed with 2 fingers and no thumb because you can’t actually touch your thumb and finger together because of the splint… is only slightly less so. So you see. I did have the best of intentions. And well, it was just out of my control. (I do have a functional joint now. Sinovitus can kiss my a… never mind.)

You know what else is infuriating? Running in snow. It’s basically impossible. Despite that, my sister and I managed to do sprints on Saturday and made up a kilometer pace (which is obviously not a “maintained” pace) of 3:55/km – 4:30/km. Kept that up for 3km despite the awful weather we’ve had. I’m optimistic despite having missed almost a full month of training time.

On a more amusing note, I went sledding with the boys and my timid I CAN’T POSSIBLY WASH MY HAIR BECAUSE I MIGHT GET WATER IN MY FACE, I DON’T WANT TO BECAUSE I MIGHT HURT MYSELF, I CAN’T FIGURE OUT HOW TO PUT MY FOOT IN MY PANTS DESPITE DOING IT EVERY DAY FOR EVERYONE ELSE children… THREW themselves down the steepest hill for 2 solid hours. Much to my delight of course. (We had the “can’t take my feet OUT of my pants” problem when we got home.)

Also, I win the Terrible Party Planner award twice this year. It’s been so busy that I only planned a tiny gathering for Littlest’s birthday. To be fair, he seemed gloriously content to have the highlight of his day be picking out his very own flavour of ice cream after dinner, so it must not have been that bad. But, that brings us to Biggest. It’s a week and a half away to his birthday, and I have yet to figure out what we’re doing. Honestly, it’s the school thing that’s throwing me off. It’s really three options at this point.

#1: We invite ALL the kids from his class to something big (and hopefully casual).

#2: We take a couple of children for something little (and figure out how not to disappoint the rest of the class).

#3: We do a family only birthday party.

I really can’t decide. I know there’s a couple of kids he’d invite, but we don’t have the space for more than a couple, and there’s the matter of him being really well liked with almost all of the kids, so inevitably if we don’t invite someone, we will break a couple of 5 year old sized hearts. And I REALLY don’t wanna be THAT parent. I think he’d be just as happy to enjoy bowling with his family, but having asked him about what he’d like… his answers seem to vary significantly. So I might just have to put my two cents in and make the decision for him. Also, I think it’s possible that he tunes me out after the first 2 words, so I can’t really be sure he understands the nature of my request. TOUGH LUCK KID! MOMMA’S GONNA GO BONKERS SOON, SO SHE’S MAKING THE DECISON! *whew* I feel better.

Unless I’ve gone bonkers already. Which I may well have. Having adjusted my schedule with the running and everything, I have successfully ENJOYED getting up at 5:30 on weekdays. That alone should make me bonkers. In fact, let’s INVESTIGATE. Why would 5:30 leave me less bonkers than usual?

Oh, what’s that you say? LESS WHINING? Oh. Well I guess that’s not so bad.

TIME FOR TEA (That reads coffee more often lately, but rest assured, I drink a CRAPTON of tea the rest of the day. How else would I remain standing?) Really that needs no further clarification.

A MOMENT TO HEAR THE BIRDS BEFORE THE INEVITABLE “I CAN’T PUT MY PANTS ON, MY FEET ARE LOST!”? Well we definitely have to keep time for that. It’s hard finding feet. Especially when you’ve somehow managed to misplace the aforementioned coffee and it’s gone cold… Ever tried to find a pair of toes in pants without being able to see properly? (Just a heads up, it’s nigh impossible. I’d suggest leaving the feet lost to see if they find themselves while said coffee is ingested.)

Fair enough peeps, that is why I labour intensively to scrape myself off my mattress at 5:30am.

I should note, actually, before I get further sidetracked, that this pants thing is really wild. It seems that Littlest absolutely cannot STAND putting pants on. Everything is fine until he has to get dressed. Then suddenly, he has no strength to pull anything off, he pouts, he whines, he cries, he fusses, he sits on his bed and mopes, he puts himself for a nap, he hides in his closet, the list goes ON AND ON AND ON. So much so that I have to send him to get dressed a full HOUR before we have to go so he can be assured of leaving the house in something other than his skivvies. I feel as though daycare might frown on my bringing him stark raving naked. It’s actually such a thing that he put on shorts once (since he refused pants) and I suggested he go out on our deck (in the snow) to see if it was an appropriate choice. He went out, stood on our freezing cold deck, stared me dead in the face and said “It’s GREAT MOMMY, I’M WARM”. And promptly walked back in. It should be noted though, he did request snow pants for the journey.

Biggest has been quite the talk lately also. He’s got really exceptional math skills, according to his teacher, and can add 1’s, 2’s, and 10’s in his head. Crazy child, he certainly didn’t get that from me. (I hate math.) On another note, he was with Mr. Handler and came to see me at work one day, and, after discovering that I wasn’t coming, said “OK Mommy! I’ll keep you in my heart until you get home! See you soon!” And walked out the door. Squeeeeee! (He sure throws one heck of a tantrum to offset the sheer adorableness of it all.)

 

And with that, I think I’ve confirmed my absolute lunacy, and will now commence cleaning of the house.

Mrs. Handler.

Observations


It’s lovely when you look back and realise just how much your children have grown into people. In the end, the whole point of parenthood is to grow them into responsible adults, right? As part of that, there are several basic adult skills that are necessary to demonstrate to your children. The unexpected part? Watching them successfully use it… on you.

 

Diplomacy. A useful skill. Except when it’s used to negotiate dessert. Hard to argue with logic, yet argue I must. By argue I mean put my foot down anyway, and silently tell myself to make sure the fine print is clear. I am learning to be more concise.

Attitude. It’s important to learn that we have the ability to change our attitudes even when we have no control over situations. However, I just gotta say, watching Biggest fix his attitude, and promptly confront me about my own…  Awkward. The other day he threw out his attitude. He literally pulled it out of his proverbial pocket and chucked it on the walk to school. And forgot about it entirely. I am learning to let go with immediacy.

Positive Thinking. While I have made considerable strides in my own positive thinking, it’s lovely to see the unexpected ways Biggest and Littlest put these skills to use. Like, when I say “We’ll see”… Biggest excitedly turns to Littlest and says “THAT MEANS YES, I THINK!”… I must attest to the difficulties in denying the playing of Zombies with that kind of attitude. I am learning to be more decisive in my answers. (Which also means I’m learning to actually choose No as an acceptable answer.)

Patience. Littlest is a foodie. He lives for food. In fact, given his short stature, I wouldn’t be even slightly surprised to find that he’s actually descended from a Hobbit. In his quest for more snacks, he consistently waits it out. I say “not yet…” and he’ll go back to his Lego, and with EQUAL enthusiasm 5 minutes later, delightedly ask if it’s snack time yet. And once it’s actually snack time, he wiggles his whole little body and claps in delight as he runs to the table. I am learning to let my patience stay full so my delight matches the wait.

Problem Solving. Both boys think outside the box when it comes to solving problems. Biggest has thoughtful, well considered solutions to his problems. Littlest has clever, unexpected solutions to his problems. For instance, Biggest will suggest sharing something for 5 minutes before trading. Responsible right? Another example: Littlest wants a snack for another time, so he goes straight to the lunch cupboard, pulls out a snack, and hides it in his closet for later when he’s actually hungry. Gotta admit, it’s a unique solution. I’m learning to consider all options.

 

You know what else I’m learning? How to keep my poker face on. The above lessons are absolutely true, and these kids floor me sometimes. Other times, like yesterday, I have to remember to keep my face straight while I’m dissolving into mental giggles. Both Biggest and Littlest were fighting over the Lego (They were fighting over who got to sit on the one foot patch of carpet that was next to twelve others exactly like it.) I had enough and told them it was time to clean up the lego and play quietly in their rooms until they could play nicely together again. Well.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO (simultaneous)

Biggest said that he refused. I said that there wasn’t a refusal option. He said that he definitely wouldn’t. I said it was clean up or naptime. He said he was going for a nap but he was going to stomp the whole way. I said no he wasn’t. He looked me square in the face, and slammed his foot on the floor. I… footballed him. He hasn’t been footballed for a long time. Actually, it was more like he was a giant plank of wood. Either way, he was not prepared for me unceremoniously dumping him over my shoulder and hauling him off to bed. The look on his face was priceless, and it took all my concentration to not laugh out loud.

Still the mom.

Littlest was also unceremoniously footballed too, since he decided that despite his brother failing miserably at succeeding in his efforts to go to his room rudely, he was going to try too.

Still the mom.

 

Ah… the power of observation.

Mrs. Handler.

Parenting Guild Wars 2 Style


As some of you know, I like to game. Specifically, I like to play MMORPGs. In layman’s terms, that stands for Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game. The truth about how these games affect the lives of the people playing them varies depending on who you talk to. For me, it’s been a positive affectation.  I finished typing out a rather long and embarrassingly nerdy explanation of such perks, but instead of giving you that version… Suffice it to say that I find the interactions between players to be of a psychologically interesting nature. Moving to the reason I brought up MMOs… I play Guild Wars 2 specifically, and I play it for the people. However, it has had some interesting outcomes that were unexpected.

#1: We have loot. I already wrote about this in a previous post last semester, but the loot table has gotten an upgrade (for those nerds reading this, it got patched). It’s easier to get loot this time around, but we only roll for it once a week. However, this has significantly improved our getting out the door with smiles intact.

#2: We level up. I love games. All types even. Biggest and Littlest do too. Their favorites though, all have characters to level up. So, this weekend, after failing for the umpteenth time to try to explain to Biggest why we put effort into things like listening, I gave up. Or rather… I told him to throw the effort out the window, since it wasn’t working anyway, and put some experience points into levelling up instead. The light bulb went on. I have yet to have an issue since. In fact, this morning, I had a discussion with him about picking his feet up when he was walking, and I told him that I levelled up my stealthy feet when I was his age even if he thought he was too young to learn that skill… And after two minutes, (his own words, I kid you not) “Mom! Look! I put my adulty pants on and I levelled up! See??? It worked!” (as his boots were no longer dragging on the ground.) (Side note: I didn’t realize he understood the meaning of adulty pants, but my inside voice was laughing so hard I couldn’t see straight).

#3: We have map bonuses and buffs. This is my version of a chore chart. In Guild Wars 2, when you complete an event in a specific part of the world (it’s broken down to maps to save on processing power), you may receive extra rewards specific to that map. Behold! Our household has been broken down into three maps: Biggest’s Reach, Littlest Citadel, and Momma’s Rest. Each has a customizable map bonus that may be chosen when regular household duties are completed. (I mean… events…) Better yet… Bonus events yield buffs. Buffs are temporary bonuses to individual people. For instance, I (the mother) have a Preparation Buff that I award myself for completing prep each night. My map bonus currently is +1 Brandy (Neat). My preparation buff stacks up to 5 times, each stack gives me an extra half hour of playtime anytime during the week, in addition to my “play days”. (I now have specific days I allow myself to play on only, since my training has commenced.) Biggest currently has +30min quiet reading time as his map bonus, and has 1 stack of Nourishment, which gives him an additional jelly bean at the end of his loot roll for the week. Nourishment is gained by eating dinner nicely and has a maximum stack of 5. Littlest currently has +30min quiet reading time as his map bonus as well, and also has one stack of Nourishment. If they complete the bonus event (which was dusting the living room today), they gain the Might buff, which gives them an additional 30min to spend either playing a video game with me or watching an episode of Paw Patrol. Also spent in addition to regular time and stackable up to 5 times. They both currently have the Regeneration (Momma’s Grace) Buff which allows them cartoons on Saturday, since they’ve been quite polite to me this week. There’s a couple more that they haven’t earned yet, but it’s been fun. More importantly, it’s worked really well so far! We salvaged this morning despite a near wipe by putting map bonuses on the line. I guess they wanted those pretty bad because they smartened up in less than a blink of an eye.

 

And, on a serious note, for the first time in well over 6 months, I feel as though I’ve actually connected with these little creatures. It’s been a really rough few months with attitudes, and I can happily say that this week, I didn’t feel like I was rewarding bad behaviour with snuggles, and I didn’t feel like I was being badgered every 5 minutes for something. Time for a new phase in our lives, the phase where they’re people figuring out how to be people instead of trying to figure out how to wipe their asses. Or perhaps… in a more nerdy fashion, we cleared the boss and we’re off to learn the next one.

I wish you good night, and happy gaming, whether it’s Words with Friends, Candy Crush, Monopoly, Catan, or something wilder like Halo or World of Warcraft. In the meantime, I’m off to get some rested experience points, since our event usually starts waaaaaaay earlier than I ever anticipate.

The Handler.

 

 

ADULTY PANTS???


 

Well, I have lost the fight.

 

The I-DON’T-WANNA-PUT-MY-ADULTY-PANTS-ON fight. It’s for the better of course, but (as my mother will tell you if you ask her about the pink pants incident when I was 8), I couldn’t get rid of the kid pants entirely.

What on earth could make me put my adulty pants on? Well. Two things, actually.

The biggest of things is that this is the YEAR. The year that I run my first half marathon. My sister and I are running two in the fall and it’s going to take some serious wringing to find time in my life for training. Seems like a decent enough reason to put adulty pants on to me. In putting my adulty pants on, I have successfully squeezed 4 runs in a week, with the help of my mom calendar. And the delight of my husband for my use of said calendar. (He’s purchased one two years in a row in anticipation of helping me organize the chaos that resembles my life, and he’s super delighted that I have made use of it finally. Thanks Mr. Handler!) Sadly, putting the adulty pants on means that my social life has taken a massive hit, as has my video game playing. But! The kid pants wrangled the adulty pants off for one night, that being Friday night since even adults need a rebel night. So. Friday nights are no-bedtime nights. Every other night I’m in bed at ten. (I lie, really, at least one night this week was 9:30. Yikes!) Back to the adulty pants. I took the opportunity to retrain my housework habits to rely less on a day off and more on a meager hour in the evening to make lunches and do dishes. Surprisingly, the adulty pants AND the kid pants are content, as now that I’m doing half the dishes instead of Mr. Handler doing most of them.. WE UNEARTHED THE COUNTER YESTERDAY!!!! The adulty pants AND the kid pants are even more content with the surprising, yet utterly satisfying Gnome deposit in the morning. Because of the counter and the lunches and maybe the earlier bedtime, the Gnomes have been deposited EARLY ALL WEEK. Who knew? Adulty pants have USEFULNESS. (I know, I’m shocked too. I just thought they were overdoing the marketing on those.) As if that wasn’t enough, the Gnomes put on their big kid pants and helped me with their backpacks and lunches all week too. It’s almost… easier. (Again, if you need a moment to deal with your shock, I understand. I really did think those adulty pant commercials were over the top.)

 

The smaller, less noticeable side effect of adulty pants (albeit a decent reason anyway) is that they come in MY SIZE. Do you know how hard it is to find pants that fit? Especially adulty pants. I was skeptical, but alas, they fit like a glove. Who knew?

 

And with that, I’d like to reassure you that having put my adulty pants on, I actually have the time (I think?) to update a little more than once a month, since the chaos level has gone from 1 bazillion down to about 12. It’s a pretty significant improvement, if I do say so myself. Also. Loot still happens. You can’t take ALL the kid out, it’s bad for your health.

 

Cheers,

The Handler.

Gnome Newzzzzz…zzz…zzzz….zzzzz….


I gotta tell you… I was hoping to have several posts written this month but quite frankly… I’m regularly face planting my keyboard. It would be better for you not to know what time that may be, but suffice it to say that I push myself to make it to a normal person bedtime.

In Biggest News: He had his first Christmas concert this month!!! It was really lovely. He sang two french songs with his class, and participated beautifully! I found out earlier in December that they switched the curriculum for our area for the first time in 50 years, and I’m happy to say that they included problem-solving, critical thinking, and co-operation into the new one. Who knew? Job skills made it into regular school programming! This is actually a great explanation for Biggest’s sudden interest in “filling my bucket”, as they say at school. Filling buckets is one of the easiest ways I’ve found to effectively communicate when something’s not working properly (emptying a bucket) and when we’re doing something and an action is more helpful or extra special (filling a bucket). I mean… it doesn’t get rid of meltdowns due to a lack of fast food for dinner, and it doesn’t help when we didn’t put our boots on properly and have to get to school anyway buuut…. I’m impressed nonetheless. Nothing melts my heart more than snuggles and “did that fill your bucket Mommy?”… except maybe a big hug with “You’re the BEST Mommy!”.

 

In Littlest News: Littlest hates mud and he hates snow. I don’t know if  he’ll outgrow it or not, but currently I get murderous screams (now that the snow has gotten crunchier), and previously a seriously large amount of whining upon seeing anything resembling brown sludge. I’m a little surprised, because both are amazing. Also, a little humorous also, puddles are ok, and so is sledding. Just not snow. And definitely not mud. Another random discovery: Littlest washes his blankets in his “dishwasher” (IE: cupboard). For the last two days, he’s gotten me to bring him his blanket at night, and when I go to look for it, he tells me he washed it. I have now gotten used to fishing it out of the “dishwasher”. Yesterday I did tea party lunch, and Littlest looks at me (after I said, is this awesome or what??) and says “You’re a SWEET MOMMY!”. Darn straight kid, darn straight. Who else would do goldfish crackers and oolong for lunch? That’s right, this momma right here. Keeping in mind, of course, that every momma is a sweet momma in their own right. But I’m gonna have my super cool tea-party-lunch-making-goldfish-cracker-feeding moment. Just for a second.

 

OK done. We did, sadly, have to put away our loot this month until we were a little more cooperative in getting out the door. Both of my gnomies were highly unimpressed that they had to wait until January to start working towards loot again, but they are getting much, much, much better at mornings. I am optimistic that the loot-friendly Commander Mommy will be back soon. I personally, am looking forward to not having to do the dragging for Christmas break. Sure, at some point I may wonder how soon winter break will be over, but right now, I am going to appreciate it as much as they will.

 

And with that, I am literally peering at my keys trying to find the r button, so I will bid you adieu for the moment.

Adieu!

Mrs. Handler.

We Surface Again!


*blub blub glub* *gasp* *splutter*

 

Oh. Right. Ok. So I may not actually be swimming right now, but this month has felt a little on the not-quite-drowning-but-maybe-should-have-pursued-swimming-lessons-a-little-longer side in an adorable always-wished-I-could-be-busy-until-I-was kind of way.

And, while I’m busy trying to surface, I have my usual shenanigans to rely on to keep my grounded.

Such as… my terribly awful green ideas. This happened not once, but TWICE in two weeks. It’s been pouring buckets here, literal buckets. The first time, I admit, was really quite random. I ended up being the October winner for our town’s #in2transit contest, and in my excitement at being recognized as @gnomehandler in the grocery store, I failed to make sure I knew where the office was to pick up my prize. (Which is amazing by the way! Thank you #in2transit!). It would have been more astute to calm myself and consider that maybe the office may have changed locations since the last time I’d been by, but, that was just not the case here. So. After failing to make my way to the office for a couple of weeks, I panicked. Pure and simple. So, on a cold and rainy day, Littlest and I had gone to purchase groceries. After a stellar (and heavier than average) find, I decided that lugging my find home instead of having it delivered along with the remainder of my groceries was a great idea. Keeping in mind, of course, that it was with the intention of pre-making a week’s worth of meals. (Incidentally, that failed miserably too, although my find remains wonderfully amazing.) When I got to the register, I cheerfully said my usual “paper will be fine” to the cashier, and carried on my way. Well. Why on earth would anyone in their mostly right mind think that paper in a monsoon was a good way to go? It’s a good question, really. So, with my heavy paper bags in hand, and Littlest in the other, we went and caught the bus. Only… having decided that this had to be THE day to go pick up my prize, I got off the bus early. Still monsooning, I make it across 2/3 of the crosswalk before my bag explodes out the bottom. Yep. In the cross walk. With the cars waiting. I sheepishly roll my zucchini (or what’s left of it) to the curb, and pack it in to the remaining two bags. By now they’re mostly overflowing, since really, I needed the third bag. And… I pick them up. Only, it should be noted that when it’s raining, puddles tend to collect at the side of the road. Really. I put the remaining two bags into a puddle. So. Here we are. At this point, I realize that my earlier hunch about leaking three-year-old-size rain gear is actually true, and my son is now soaking wet. And, looking up, I realize that I should have actually asked for directions. Because the office is not where I thought it was and I’m now standing in the rain with three composting-in-front-of-my-face grocery bags and a wet three year old. So what’s a Mom to do? Well. Since the rain gear is clearly not working anyway, I got the bright idea to use our dragon raincoat as a tarp/packaging material for the groceries. I bundle them all up in the dragon (I can’t even tell you how strange this looks). I give my soaking wet child my oversized red coat (which looks more like a blanket than anything on my tiny kid). And I walked home in my sweater. It should also be noted that I had to use the sleeve of my red coat as a leash-type device, since Littlest was unable to use his hands in my coat. I wanted to draw you all a picture, but it was so terrible it just couldn’t be uploaded. Three quarters of the way home I realized my phone was still in the bottom pocket that was three inches above puddle height. (It’s ok but holy man!)

 

AS IF THAT WASN’T ENOUGH… I went the very next week and took paper AGAIN. This time it wasn’t raining, but the veggies I chose were wet, and I left a trail of groceries for a half a block in the dark before I realized that there was a hole composting through the bottom of one of the bags.

 

Only one of the crazy series of things November has brought us, but I have to go to bed now.

Nighty Night.

The Handler.

PS: THIS time, I brought reusable bags. I also filled them with 50lbs of groceries and had to drag them and my screaming, stomping, fighting, punching creatures home (I think they resemble human males, but it’s hard to say.). I probably should have bought less, however I couldn’t resist the bacon. But one step at a time right?