The Restroom Incident


I’ll start by saying that my back is seriously painful. Hubby made a chiropractic appointment for me, but I had to tend the kiddos last night, both of them woke up at some point. The first time, I had to send hubby, and the second time, I almost managed to topple an entire stack of boxes trying to stay upright. Apparently 10 minutes to bend wasn’t enough. Also, it’s very difficult to change a child on the floor when you can’t reach it. Amazingly enough, I didn’t drop Littlest.

So, off to the appointment, I even got a coffee on the way! Very exciting, especially when you’re like me and live off the stuff. However, much to my dismay, I was so excited, I forgot to order mine with soy. FYI: I’m lactose intolerant. It doesn’t really agree with my, you know, innards. We made the bus, and my stomach went *brrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarg*. Uh oh.

You should know that the caffeine fix was worth the following events.

Luckily, we made it to the office early, and I was able to use the restroom at the mall across the way. Unluckily, my sister also had to use the washroom, so I had to bring the kiddos with me into the handicapped stall. I’d really like to point out that it is difficult to contend with children staring at you whilst your stomach is going *braaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarg*. I should also note that Biggest, since he’s now peeing standing up and is also unaware of the intrinsic difference between males and females, is convinced that by sitting on a toilet, you are, in fact, pooping. He vocalized this idea the entire time I was in the bathroom.

“Mommy pee?”
“Mommy poop?”
“Mommy pee?”
“Mommy poop?”
“Wootsie pee?”
“Wootsie poop?”

And on it went. I did not have the foresight, since my stomach was going *braaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarg* to use the handicapped washroom, and instead used the handicapped stall in the regular washroom. I also happened to trigger an avalanche of 80-year-old women who needed to use the washroom, and were now lined up waiting for the available stalls. To the tune of “Mommy pee?” “Mommy poop?”…

I would like to point out that I was originally going to saunter through the mall since we had time, but by the time my stomach stopped going *braaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarg*, and the old ladies stopped laughing, I figured maybe we should be going. Auntie Wootsie (amidst much chuckling, since she was waiting for me and witnessed the entire sequence take place) agreed as well.

In other news, we went for a visit with Biggest’s GG-Ma, and he fell asleep on the bus ride home. It made up for the bathroom incident.

And with that, I’m going to go to bed, and hopefully I’ll unbend a little quicker tonight.

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