Inner Monologue #1.


Biggest: *takes hand* Mommy, are you there?

What time is it? Is it time to get up? Really? Maybe I’ll roll over. Oh wait, I can’t roll over. Is that my kid? My gosh he’s adorable when he does that. I suppose I will get up now. I wish I was able to get up sooner than 8, this is ridiculous.

Ok, new screen time rules start now. 8:04am, I’ll play Bejeweled with him for 20 minutes so he has time when hubby gets home to play “Daddy’s game”. By that point, he can have his cheerios, and I can read my book for a little while. I promise I’ll start my chores after a couple of chapters.

—- Fast Forward —-

Time for cheerios. Yay, I can’t wait to find out what happens next!

Biggest: Habit a milk, cheerio?

I said yes, but whether that was a good choice or not remains to be seen. I’m gonna bet that he might be using the washroom shortly. I wish there was a better alternative than soy or almond milk, they don’t taste very good, and I really don’t like that they have very little fat. Why did I have to read so much? Because now, of course, I am ridiculously aware that he doesn’t get enough fat from the alternatives, and I feel like I’m setting him up to get C’s in school because his brain can’t grow without fat.

—- Fast Forward —-

Yay! My sister’s coming! I’m not going to think about her going home. I don’t know what I’m gonna do when she’s gone. Darn this twin stuff. Why do I have to be so attached? I guess I do have my phone hooked up. Note to self: get phone number. I suppose I should get some stuff done. I guess I’ll start with my closet, I’m really tired of tripping to get up in the middle of the night. Not to mention, it’ll make the most impact, and it’ll actually feel like I’ve accomplished something. Better not tell anyone that though. Try as I might, I still can’t get rid of that feeling. Oh, bottles, I should do bottles. Awwwwwwww, now it’s all over the inside of my bag. Guess I’ll have to wash it, that’s good though, I needed to wash it anyway. I’m gonna have to throw out the diapers in there, what a waste. Glad I didn’t put more in there though, there’s only 2. I guess it’s not that bad. *phew*.

Figures, I’d just get the bottles set to wash and he’d get hungry. At least they weren’t in the pot boiling already, so I’ll wait to finish them until I can do the one I’m currently feeding him. 

Aww I love it when he offers to help change Littlest. Oh, as much as I appreciate your insistence to do it yourself child, I really don’t want what’s in that diaper to get all over you. What??? Why is the phone ringing now?? Good thing the mat is on the floor, I sincerely hope he doesn’t pee before I get back. Awwwww I missed it. Great. Oh please don’t pee, please don’t pee, please don’t, ah it’s ringing again. Sis is on the way up, back to the bum. Oh crap, is the door open? I hope she lets herself in. Oh awesome, he didn’t pee!!!! *phew*

—- Fast Forward —-

I feel better. Just needed some time with the sis. Still feel like crying since she’s going, but I will get her number, that’ll do ok. Oh great, the door. I don’t wanna have my TV on. Well, they won’t be here long anyway, Biggest lost his privileges this afternoon thanks to him thinking I was a suggestion today, I can’t believe how many things his hands were on that he knows better about. Oh well, they can come in for a bit. 

Um, why are you annoyed that my cookies are gone? They’re my cookies? Um, I said to get off that chair. It wasn’t a suggestion. Thank you for taking my stuff to the dumpster though. Oh I forgot to give him the key. We can’t put junk outside our bin. Guess I’ll wait til hubby gets home and he can put it in there properly, it was probably too heavy for him anyway and I should be appreciative.

I hope no one gets mad that my stuff is sitting next to the dumpster.

Please don’t notice the stuff next to the dumpster.

Oh thank heavens, that’s hubby. Oh, you’re back, yes you can borrow my games, I should tell you to put half of those back, I better confirm with hubby how many he wants to lend out. I’ll let it go for now, but I better write them down so we’ll remember which ones need to come back. 

Oh thank heavens, that’s hubby. OH, you’re back again?? What do you mean you can’t get into the home screen? I feel terrible that this generation has no concept of perseverance or determination. I sincerely hope I can teach my children that.

Oh thank heavens! It really is hubby. I’m tired. That took a lot of effort to not have a meltdown about the trash can. I think I have anxiety. In fact, I’m pretty sure I’ve got more than anxiety. Oh well. Oh, we need dinner. No, I definitely don’t want to go to the corner store. I need a moment. I’ll go to the grocery store instead.

Yay I get to go for a bit of a walk with sis, that’s nice, I didn’t get to see her much this visit, and I’m glad to have a bit more time. Yay puddles. I feel silly, but I love jumping in puddles. Splash! Bwahahaha. 

—- Fast Forward —-

Epic! My favorite chicken strips are on sale. That totally made my day and hubby will be thrilled. A little homemade garlic bread and some potato wedges. Perfect. Yum yum yum.

Oh my gosh, the cashier asked you how you were doing and you just stood there. You could have at least acknowledged that she answered you. Talk about rude.

Awww awesome, I will happily share a hot chocolate. Maybe I can convince you to walk me home. Partway? Partway will do.

Oh seriously, I totally should have thought about that. Biggest is gonna have way more friends over, and I’m already turning to jelly. I want my house to be one of those safe places for kiddos to go, but I can’t get runover in the process. Buuuut, children do well with limits, and so do I. Maybe that’ll work. I feel better. And tired. And hungry.

And here we are. I have to say, it was pretty hard to admit to just how much I worry. I try really hard to be positive, but it takes a bit of working out in that brain of mine before it comes out positive.

In other news, Littlest totally started moving today. He’s a wiggler. Hubby and I looked down, looked away, looked down again, and he had moved a foot and a half from where he was, and was looking at us with the biggest smile on his face. He stopped moving when he got stuck next to the bouncer.

We set screen time limits for Biggest, as well as set up a reward box for him today. He lost a lot of toys over mishandling them (we don’t encourage throwing, and whatever gets thrown gets taken away until he can earn it back). I got crafty though, and taped a bunch of construction paper to the box, and made a little list of all the things he can do to earn something back out of the box. I’m excited to see how it works.

And I get to spend the morning alone tomorrow, as it’s grocery shopping day, and hubby’s gonna take the kiddos for the morning so I can be quick about it. Yay for a me date!

And now I’m going to have a hot beverage, and enjoy some Star Wars with my sis, since it’s her last night before she heads back to her town.

I will say though, we get to plan a wedding despite the distance, thanks to Pinterest, Facebook, Skype, and good old fashioned phone convos. Her and her fiance finally set a date.

I’m stoked. Cheers!


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