Case File: Missing Ears


Wanted: Ears. Will offer generous reward for safe return.

And by reward, I mean my undying, everlasting gratitude. Seriously.

We’ve been having certain listening issues this week. After the initial suggestion of “listen gone.” by Biggest, and my conclusion at the end of yesterday (found here) I started my morning with the best of hopes. However, it was quickly ascertained that listening wasn’t just gone, listening had been, dare I say it, kidnapped. So rather than happily enjoying Biggest and I’s morning ritual of coffee and Zhombies, we decided that it would be better if I watched a show by myself (to lull the unsuspecting napper into a false sense of security), and Biggest would start a manhunt in his room.

The manhunt revealed traces, but nothing conclusive. We continued the hunt throughout the day, pausing only for sustenance (a visit to Pappy S. provided the meal) and sleep. Several more traces turned up, and even a couple of leads, but again, the trail went cold.

However, much to my surprise, we had an all-out chase after dinner. It even caused collateral damage. Several of Biggest’s toys were confiscated for processing at the scene, and for Biggest’s protection, he was sent to a safe house for security purposes. (Amazingly enough, that resembles his bed, they’re so crafty with them these days!) We were so close! So close. But once again, the napper was just out of our grasp.

After processing the evidence, and analyzing the kidnapper’s patterns, we have come to the conclusion that until further information turns up, I am forced to declare a state of emergency, including the lockdown of all screens, and other temptations such as treats, in an effort to ensure the safety of all parties involved.

I will update with any further news.

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