WFY: Worst. Feeding. Yet.


We’ve started a bit late on solids because Littlest had some trouble with his weight, and generally solids are started after weight gain is locked in. I tried intermittently about a handful of times, but we eventually settled in around a month and a half ago. We’re now up to 2 feedings, one at lunch (cereal) and one at dinner (whatever I made).

I need to make a side trip here, and tell you that Biggest (being, well, big) had no troubles at all with solids. He would see the spoon, sit quietly, open his mouth, and the only time he would interfere was if we weren’t getting it in there fast enough.

Read: I don’t know what the heck I’m doing anymore and the amount of mess currently being made by my 8 month old is scaring me.

Ok, back to the main shebang. Littlest is a distracted eater, which makes him the complete opposite of Biggest. Where Biggest would wait, Littlest does not. Where Biggest would sit, Littlest squirms. Where Biggest would open his mouth, Littlest would lick. That’s right. He doesn’t open his mouth, he sticks his tongue out. And then grabs the spoon. (Do you have any idea what kind of grip he has? It’s World Strongman Title worthy.) We have attempted, with mixed results, to give him his own spoon to wrangle us enough time to wind the real spoon around his occupied hands and into his mouth. Unfortunately, the child got smart, and found out he has two hands. All I can say is that I’m really glad he’s not an octopus. Once he’s got one or both spoons, he manages to smack it (the cuisine of choice) all over his legs, all over his pants, all over his face, and misses the bib entirely. So much so, in fact, that I generally use the bib as a cloth at the end, since it’s pretty much still immaculate.

And that brings me to the Worst Feeding Yet. I stuck him in the Bumbo, put on the bib, and eagerly started a spoonful of applesauce. He hasn’t had this flavor yet, but given his reaction to pears, he should love it.

Not so. Oh, he liked it, but not enough to stop from attempting to lick the spoon on the very first attempt and coating himself in what was originally half a baby spoon full. It shouldn’t have gone that far…. but it did. So, my husband gives me the other spoon, I give it to Littlest and…

*Plunk*
I am now being glared at because it doesn’t taste like anything other than spoon and he officially knows better. (Admittedly “spoon” wouldn’t be on my favorite flavors list either). The offending item is now in his lap. I try to get another bite in.

*WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA*
Oh snap. Way to go mom. I wiggled the spoon at the exact moment he leaned, and hit his very sore pre-tooth gums. Ouch. I give him a hug, I pat him on the back a little, and then decide (in a genius move) to try again, because maybe the applesauce will distract him from being so upset.

*snivle*
I think it’s working.

*WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA*
OH SNAP! Now I’ve really done it. He saw right through my distraction, grabbed the spoon, and in an even worse twist of fate, tried to shove it in his mouth. While I was trying to get it out of his hand. He rammed it to the very very back of his mouth.

So now he’s upset about the gums, and the fact that he almost swallowed the spoon. I decide to try the carseat, maybe he’s having trouble swallowing it with the angle the Bumbo puts him at. I walk over and get it set up, pick him up and

*Smack*
*WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA*

How did I raise one child to toddlerhood safely? This time I’ve bumped his noggin on the carseat handle. It was only a tap, but he was already mad, and now he’s really really angry.

*AHA* Faces make excellent distractions. So do noises. He managed to finish the rest of his feeding with relatively little interruption, until I wiped his face with the bib. He got angry about that too.

I’m going to blame this entire thing on new formula. (The store didn’t have any of our normal stuff, and we had to get a substitute. Judging from the situation on the other end, it’s not going to be a repeat purchase).

And now you may all go and contemplate how children actually survive intact all the way through to adulthood. Really, it’s an astounding concept.

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