Staying Afloat.

Fine. I admit it…

I’m a list person. I’m also a routine person. And a schedule person.

Moving on. Yesterday. Sucked. In fact, pretty much this whole week has sucked. So much so that I don’t even know where to start. And if I do start, it might just be miserable enough to leave your day in tatters just from reading about it. True story.

So, I’m just gonna leave last week where it is (seething in one of those black creepy piles that feel like they’re looking at you despite being inanimate, and maybe, just maybe, they might jump you when you turn your back. Back away. Slowly… slowly… ok! We’re good!) And now we’re going to take a moment to firmly grasp a happy tune in our heads, maybe hum them out loud for a sec… and… Forward ho!

Remember that sleep disorder I keep mentioning? Well, how do I say it… Ah screw it. I refused to accept what was going on. Dismissed it. Chucked it out the door. Fought it like two overweight cats with one kibble left. And the only thing that did was chuck it back in my face (I may have heard a faint cackle, but don’t quote me on that one.). Hence the previously mentioned seething pile. The first two days of being on this new medication were great! I was elated at feeling like I could do more than slump over my computer and attempt to be some semblance of responsible parent. Then, that changed, I didn’t notice right away, but it did. I guess somewhere along the way, I was secretly hoping that I was just lazy, and that I could delude myself into thinking maybe it would go away, or I could create a schedule that would push me over it, but that isn’t the case. This is not going to go away. Fighting it is like trying to swim against the current of a river that is so strong, it’s going to push you downstream anyway.

So, yesterday, I got over it. Not the disorder, just fighting it. It was pretty messy, not gonna lie. I bawled all over my poor husband, all over my kids, dragged everyone over to my mom’s while hubby was at school and talked her ear off until dinner. She went through it all a few months ago so I figured she had some insights. I was right, and we ended up figuring out a routine for my day that provides flexibility with a measure of consistency. During the course of that kerfuffle, it occurred to me that the journey downstream is significantly better with a glass of wine and an inner tube. The scenery’s pretty interesting too, apparently. I can pretty much guarantee that I’ll probably jump out of the inner tube and try to swim some more, but hopefully that will lessen with time. It’s not like the river’s gonna stop, so I’ve got lots of time to work out how to stay in the tube instead of beside it.

Which brings me to today. I was hoping to have some exciting stories about what happened when everyone’s world turned upside down this morning, but sadly… There aren’t any. *record scratch* Wait, what? Not a thing. This morning’s gone uncannily well, no one’s had any meltdowns (including me! Egad!) I even got a chance to *gasp* read before the kids woke up. If I have anything to say about it, that will definitely happen again.

I’d like take this moment to extend a shout out to the rest of my life. Sure took me long enough… Yeesh.

Oh, since we’re being revealing today… I buy the Melon scented Kandoo soap for myself on the pretense of using it to teach Biggest handwashing. I use it instead of the adult hand soap. True story.


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