Maternal Googleitis

Happy Monday everybody! I’ve been attempting to get rid of the plague and mental disorder known simply as  Maternal Googleitis. I will elaborate.
Maternal Googleitis is characterized by a repeated distrust of one’s own Mommy instincts, followed by an almost compulsive obsession with the search engine known as Google. It begins innocently, typically with a first pregnancy, and starts with the occasional search of pregnancy symptoms. It expands to include developmental stages and ideas related to raising the child, often intensifying in search frequency. Often this disorder further disables the individual, widening the “research” parameters to message boards, blogs, parenting books, child psychologists, scientific studies, and so on. It is relatively easy to diagnose, however, it takes significant individual effort to cure, and the treatment is a three step process. First, the person must break the habit of research involving offspring. Then, the person must make peace with her own Mommy instincts. Finally, the person must replace the information that has been gathered with her own experiences. It is a long process, often accompanied by relapses, and the after-effects of the information gathered can be significant and long-lasting.

Now that you know what Maternal Googleitis (henceforth referred to as MG) is, we can move on. Unfortunately for me, I’ve had a fairly severe case, partially because it was combined with low self esteem and this stupid sleep disorder. I am, however, on step three of the treatment process.

As some of you may know, we’ve had some listening issues with Biggest. There was even a  report filed with the ear police! We interrupt this program to bring you some cuteness!  Biggest just came in with a Duplo car he made, and exclaimed that he made an ambulance. Two seconds later claimed that it had morphed into a bat-mobile…. awesome! Back to our regularly scheduled programming… As it turns out, these listening issues (beyond what is normally expected from an almost-3-year-old) have been caused by my case of MG. I was under the impression that children don’t get to the point of manipulating their environment (meaning ME!) until 3 or 4… and I’m ashamed to admit that I never once actually thought about what stage Biggest was at. So, while he has, in reality, been testing his boundaries and checking to see where I stand on things, I have been looking at a internet-made toddler just discovering the world extends to things beyond eating and stacking. And this, my dear readers, is where MG hurts. Not only do I feel like a complete idiot for spending the last 6 months looking at a standard 2 year old (FYI, no such thing!), but I am also sad for entirely overlooking who my little boy is, and what he’s capable of. And while I have been off in la-la-ville, he has definitely been realistic, which puts me at the start of a rough week of readjusting parameters. I do expect that we should be getting along nicely soon though, and my brain feels significantly less fuzzy.

Maybe there’s hope for my prognosis yet! (I’ll let you know how it goes!)

*disclaimer* This is not a post intended to bash Google. Google is my go-to search engine, and the base for my blog. If anything, this post should make it clear that you can find ANYTHING on Google, and it is by far the most superior search engine I’ve used.


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