Oh No… Not The Sharpie!


Oh people. My overzealous year’s-end cleaning has finally gotten the better of me. It’s what I get for putting such a big project on the list right after Christmas.

I’m going to blame… um… the toys! Yes. That’s what I’ll do. The toys made me do it! Right after Christmas, my anxiety level went up tenfold because I couldn’t figure out where I was going to put all the toys. So me, in my geniousness, thought it would be an excellent idea to rearrange the kids’ room and the living area. Admittedly, it needed to be done. The entertainment stand was set up when we moved in… right in an extremely hot (think: melt your $400 consoles in front of your very eyes hot) sunbeam. It needed to move. The kids got moved into the same room… and every last thing resembling a toy got put in the living room. (That reads: Handler’s going insane because she has to move the entire pile to sit down and watch a show after kids are in bed). That had to get rearranged too. So, I moved all the furniture around except for the entertainment stand. And died on the vine. The irony of realizing the project is too big after you’ve gone too far to turn back is rather, well, ironic.

The scene is now this:

Laundry is hanging everywhere. Christmas Day was our usual slot so we did double on the next slot instead. It’s been drying since Saturday. I don’t have anywhere to put it yet. What isn’t hanging is still in a pile on the floor from where I was sorting it.

There’s toys everywhere. I had another genius idea to clean out all my old baby stuff for consignment, and thought I should go through the toys while I’m at it. I stopped at the old baby stuff, so the toys are sitting in the middle of the floor waiting to be sorted.

The kitchen is a disaster. I was busy with the toys and we all got the flu on Boxing Day, so no one else can do it either. On top of that, I had the genius idea to make lentil soup, and all of my cooking implements made the disaster that much worse. Especially as I misjudged the pot size and had to switch half way through.

We managed to move the entertainment stand amidst running noses yesterday, but it was a close call. IE: it got moved, we hooked up Netflix, and zoned out to Stargate SG-1 for the rest of the night. The vacuum is still up. I did get to some of the sorting yesterday. At least, the living room, you still run the risk of having lego-in-foot syndrome with whatever is currently residing in the kids’ room. I also got the genius idea to label some sandwich baggies to put the random games/puzzles in. With Sharpie.

Which brings me to the sad state of affairs that is this morning. See, in my overzealousness and subsequent flat-on-face fails, I forgot the Sharpie… *cringe* on Biggest’s *cringe* train table. He’s 2. He likes markers. He likes them a lot. He has no interest in delineating between good markers and bad markers. I heard a bunch of giggles while I was feeding Littlest, along with a few car crashes, and I didn’t think much of it, until I finished with Littlest and came around the corner.

People, he was an ad for Call of Duty. His face looks like he’s got war paint on. He even went so far as to paint straight lines on his arms. Don’t ask me how he managed to do it, but it’s literally straight lines. And don’t get me started on his stomach. What isn’t on him is on his train table, and the carpet. I had to put him in his chair and walk away before I started laughing my butt off. I kid you not, it was straight out of some kind of Dennis The Menace scene. I did manage to get him to understand that he needs to ask me for drawing equipment, not just use whatever appears to be available, but not until some significant effort was put into my composure. I sincerely hope Magic Erasers work as well as they claim. Note to self: There’s a reason they call it “spring cleaning”, not “New Years cleaning”. Lesson learned.

Biggest is now soaking in the tub, and my next mission is to google “How Do I Get Sharpie Out Of Carpet?”.

The Handler.

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