New Year’s "Resolutions"

Well, Happy New Year to you all!

 I’d say that I’m hoping for an excellent year, but in actuality, I’d be lying. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not being pessimistic, I’m just not really a “resolution” type of person. It will be a good year because I refuse to have a bad year, but as with all years, there will be ups and there will be downs. I do make resolutions every year, but they’re not… what you would expect. For example:

I resolve to have less screaming tantrums this year. This one’s practically guaranteed, as I myself prefer not to have them, and Biggest is getting way more clever at disguising tantrums by having quiet ones. The verdict’s still out on Littlest though.

Other examples:

I resolve to best my husband at Command & Conquer. This one I am entirely unsure of. Not only have I not played in a long time, but I also have a completely different play style than him, and it’s going to take some time to strategize. That being said, I’m perfectly capable of doing so, and I’m particularly stubborn, so I’m hoping it’s just a matter of time. I did inherit my father’s super secret ultra spectacular competitive deviousness, after all.

I resolve to be done with diapers by the end of this year. While this seems preposterous, I started potty training Biggest at 17 months, and that was while I was pregnant. I have no interest in maintaining diapers longer than necessary, and since the only person more stubborn than myself happens to be my husband, it’s only a matter of time. I am also particularly zealous, as I cringe every time I have to buy a $50 box of disposable absorbent plastic. (Secretly, I’m spoiled, because Biggest is fully potty trained, and it’s SO much easier.)

I resolve to grow my Sim City to over 600,000 people. Megalotropolis, here I come! It will happen. I promise you that.

I resolve to not run screaming off the balcony if my morning goes to seed. I am already ahead on this one, as this very morning was one of those kind. Biggest woke up with an intelligence burst that I can only attribute to a top-secret mind ray cleverly disguised as the fireworks that woke up Littlest twice last night. Between Cheerio demands, arguing like a 4-year-old, and the loudest screaming tantrum I have heard yet (followed by pushing me aside… he got in serious trouble for that…)… I’d say it’s definitely gone to seed. And since I’m not splattered all over the pavement 3 stories below, we’re doing well. At least, I don’t think I am… *checks* Nope, definitely all still here. *phew*

That’s basically how my list goes. I’m not silly enough to try resolving to drink less coffee (let’s be honest, I live off the stuff), or get more exercise (I’m dealing with a sleep disorder, and when I’m not running for pleasure, I’m running after my children or climbing 4 flights of stairs with laundry. I don’t want more exercise.). I could try resolving to eat more vegetables, but it’s likely that I will forget about the second week in January, and be left realizing that I screwed up and it’s only the first month of the new year. So instead, I’ll do my best (like I always do), and at the end of 2014, I will look back, be thankful for my successes, learn from my failures, and make some more ridiculous resolutions for 2015.

Here’s to 2014, folks!!

The Handler


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