Sass, Sass, Sass, and did I mention Sass?

This is turning into one of those weeks. The “Dear-Lord-Make-It-Stop-The-World-Is-Going-To-Blow-Up-And-Why-Is-My-Child-Determined-To-Electrocute-Himself” kind.

Due to a series of unfortunate events, Biggest had to be taken to the hospital yesterday. He’s fine, and for his future sanity, I won’t go into detail. That being said, we didn’t get him into bed until 10:30 last night. Given his sudden ability to sass like a 7-year-old girl, I knew at that point that today wasn’t going to go well. I should note that his sassing is complete with what will be henceforth referred to as The Glare. The Glare is the one that tells you that clearly, you’re boring the individual, you’re being ridiculous, and the individual knows better than to follow your instructions because inevitably, they will cause the individual a personal affront. I have no idea where his attitude was discovered, but just to let you in on it, behold the following conversations.

Biggest: I not peeing. (insert The Glare)
Me: Oh? You’re not going to pee? (mom-brows raised to hairline)
Biggest: I going to pee! (insert The Glare)

Biggest: I not eating oatmeal.
Me: Really? Because that’s what you asked for, and that’s what’s for breakfast. You have 5 minutes to start eating it or there will be consequences.
Biggest: I not eating it! I don’t like meal. (insert The Glare)
Me: Too bad, you liked it last night, and that’s what I made.
Biggest: (insert The Glare) I still not eating it.

Biggest: I not cleaning up. (insert The Glare)
Me: You will be cleaning up. You do not have a say in the matter, given your attitude at the moment.
Biggest: Nooope. I not cleaning up! (insert The Glare)

I could go on, there are many, and I stress many, other examples, but I won’t. I would like to point out that I find myself extremely frustrated. It appears to be a delicate situation, because if I enforce discipline on every single time this happens, it would be a solid day’s worth of time-outs etc. If I don’t enforce discipline on every single time this happens, then not only does it get worse, as he thinks he can get away with it, but it devolves into an argument. I’m not about to argue with a 2 year old. At the moment, he’s starved himself for 2 days. By starved I mean I’ve given him food he normally likes, with access to it at his usual times (breakfast, lunch, snack, dinner), and he refuses. I could sit him there for 45 minutes and he wouldn’t eat it. He finally ate something last night (the aforementioned oatmeal), but this morning, he refused to eat anything, mainly because I wouldn’t give him a cookie and a glass of milk first. I told him that he could have his milk after he ate half of it, and have his cookie (which he earned for being so well-behaved at the hospital) after he was done. He refused. As far as I can tell, he’s testing my authority to see if it still stands.

It does. I just have to figure out how to show it to him without him continuing on a hunger strike. I’m assuming that he’ll eat when he’s done showing me that he thinks he’s the boss. What he doesn’t realize is that according to his world, I invented stubborn. Just ask my mother! Poor kid has no idea that the battle he’s trying to win is inevitably going to end as Mother: 1, Child: 0.

I’m hoping that I’ll have the end of this Sassy Saga tomorrow.

The Handler.


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