Face Of Doom (the Face for short)

Well, I emerge from my hovel only to tell you that we’re still in the middle of Sass-ville. Well, that and I finally found the house under all the Cheerios. I have to say though, it’s been a funny week. Some of the stuff Biggest comes up with simply to contradict me is, to an adult, utterly hilarious.

For instance.

Me: If you’re good at the store, you may get a hot chocolate when we’re done.
Biggest: I NOT GOOD.

This is where I start to wonder if I have a wax build up in my ears that I’m not aware of. Did you seriously say that? Really? I could have sworn you said you weren’t good after I told you you could earn a hot chocolate. What’s not to like about hot chocolate?

Another example.

Me: If you can clean up your toys with a good attitude, we will have time to read our story!
Biggest: Not.
Me: Not?
Biggest: Not. I not cleaning up. No good attitude.

*squeak squeak* Sorry, I was cleaning my ears. What part of stories are we finding to be a problem? Worse yet, the times where he tells both Hubby and I to our faces without denying a reward.

Hubby: Go clean up your toys.
Biggest: NOT!

Me: Go pee before we go, please.
Biggest: NOT!

Me: It’s time for bed now.
Biggest: NOT! I not going sleep.

Hubby: Eat your dinner.
Biggest: I NOT eating.

Needless to say, it’s NOT going over very well on the mommy/daddy end. He gets appropriate discipline, and he is learning. As of this morning, he’s to the point of saying it only once. After saying it once, he looks up, sees the Face Of Doom… and stops talking.

*Face Of Doom: The Mom/Dad look. The Uh-Oh What Have I Done moment. The look everyone remembers as happening when you have stepped over the Line, and the look where parental unit(s) eyebrows are invisible as a result of merging with the hairline. Truly devastating in nature, and generally serves as a prelude to subject(s) doing what is required of them with nary a squeak.

I remember the Face well. I was spunky as a child, however, I was also rather logical, and preferred not to invoke the Face’s wrath. The one thing I am content with is that when we’ve solved this particular set of circumstances, Biggest will have an incredible amount of determination that will serve him well as an adult.

In the meantime, I’m perfecting the Face.
Have a peaceful weekend.
The Handler.


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