Sentimentality, Who Needs That?

I am in serious need of a kick in the bum this morning. I will admit, it is Saturday, and should therefore be a relaxing kind of day, but it’s really not turning out that way.  We had a super busy, jam packed schedule yesterday, and it’s catching up to me. Best part? The weekend’s not over yet.

Most of the busy, jam packed day yesterday was due to Littlest turning One. Seriously? I’ve never subscribed to the “growing up too fast” idea, as I enjoy the milestones immensely, and am constantly looking forward to what’s going to be next, but it sure doesn’t feel like a year. Ironically, his birthday was practically a carbon copy of what actually happened the day I went into labour. Meaning I scarfed down a Benny and went for a walk. Thankfully, my evening yesterday was much less painful than a year ago, and consisted of tea and Stargate, but that’s beside the point. Despite being excited about the changes that go on with my kiddos, I took a moment to reflect.

Then: Old man hair.
Now: Not as bald, but one hair is 2″ longer than the rest, and sticks straight up.

Then: Loved his thumb.
Now: Still loves his thumb.

Then: Miiiiiilk.
Now: Cheeeeerio.

Then: Swaddled tight.
Now: Rolls out of whatever you tuck him in with. You could probably duct tape it on and he would still get out.

Then: Big blue eyes.
Now: Bigger blue eyes. They get me every time. Also full of mischief, which scares me a little.

Then: Liked cuddles.
Now: Loves cuddles. Gets angry when not cuddled.

Yep, no matter how you look at it, he got older. He still has zero interest in standing up though. Maybe he feels like it’s a waste of time, since worming is clearly so much faster to get to where you want to go. Walking? Come on, you can’t fool him! Besides, he’d have to bend over for the cheerios, and when you’re as small as he is, that’s a lot of effort. And if you fell over, you could damage the cheerio you were going for, and well, that just wouldn’t do.

In all honesty, I don’t really know how I felt yesterday. I’m so excited with the discoveries he’s making, but I look at everyone else being all nostalgic and sad about their babies being non-baby-ish anymore, and I just can’t bring up that feeling. Don’t get me wrong, I smile at old pictures, and I have many fond memories of first grins and newborn cuddles, but I don’t feel like I’m trying to bring it all back. I’d like to think it’s because I’m more interested in making memories than reliving them, but it’s probably closer to reality to think that I’ve grown since then, and don’t particularly want to go back and be that person again. And there’s also the stark and slightly embarrassing memories of the time I didn’t wanna wait for the hot water and chose to go cold with those stupid squirt bottles they give you for “home care”… and the other time that I was trying to breastfeed while getting ready for a shower… (suffice it to say that it did not go well, and I learned what “too much multitasking” meant)… and the other time my sister walked in on me while I was pumping… and the countless times I woke up in the nursing chair wondering how I got there… and the realization that my hips were never ever going to fit in those jeans, not after the second child… But I’m getting carried away here. The point is that I’ve learned to look forward, and be happy with how I got where I am. It’s much more peaceful than wishful thinking. Also, I haven’t had to deal with spit up on my shirt in forever, and I kind of like it that way.

Anyway, I’ve stalled long enough. In our haste to get out the door, the house kind of blew up. And since the kids got up ridiculously early, and I’ve spent most of the morning playing video games with Biggest (it is Saturday after all), it is now time to hang my wet laundry, muck out the kitchen, and pick up all the winter gear that went flying while we were trying to find mittens.

Cheers, and have a great weekend!
The Handler.

PS: Dear Littlest. I love you so much. You’ve brought me much joy this year, and I can only imagine how much more joy you’re going to provide. Between the wiggles and the giggles, you make my life rich. Love Mommy.


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