*Bang Noggin Here*

I am currently taking a moment to regain my sanity.  I’ve been tripping over Biggest and Littlest all morning, and I’m about to lose my mind. Normally the hysterics wouldn’t be particularly troublesome, but today, it’s driving me nuts. I do have a couple of really good reasons though.

It begins with the fact that we finally got a couch. I’m so excited, it used to belong to my in-laws, but they recently acquired a new one, and offered it to us for an excellent price. My husband and I, after curling up on the floor for 6 months, agreed without a second thought. It’s amazing, people. It’s an almost sectional, with angled ends, and both ends recline. It’s leather, and the middle portion has a huge ottoman with blanket storage. The best part though, is that between the ends and the middle, there’s not one, but two built in sets of cupholders with remote/controller storage behind. I’m almost starstruck. If that’s possible with a couch.

We received said couch after dinner last night, but since it was rather exciting, Biggest and Littlest both went to bed quite late. Despite the hour, they both still woke up at 6, so they are exhausted and having trouble listening. On top of that, I insisted that we leave the mess for the morning, because after assembling the couch, it was almost time for bed, and it would have taken a good two and a half hours of work to get the living room clean and organized again. Since I like doing that, I volunteered for the job. Biggest, however, is still excited about the couch, and yet annoyed by the mess, making his attitude just that much worse. Did I mention that Biggest is a neat freak already?

Still, that’s not really the problem. I started in on the job, and gave Biggest a heads up on a couple of rules while I was doing my cleaning. Namely, stay out of the way so he doesn’t get hurt, and refrain from moving everything I just cleaned so I could actually accomplish the task and enjoy the rest of our afternoon together. I was blissfully ignorant, thinking that the whole “having children undo things you’re in the middle of” was avoidable with the proper redirection.

I should really, really, really stop thinking I know it all, because people, my plan has failed. Failed to the point of backfiring completely. There’s Cheerios everywhere, toys everywhere, and everything I’ve tried to move has gone somewhere else as soon as I turn my back. I ended up putting both of the boys in a quiet time so I could ‘vacuum’. Vacuum is code for SPACE. I’m hoping that I can draw it out a bit and actually get some of the original task done, so I can at least pretend like the stuff moving is just part of my afternoon instead of an hour’s worth of thinking and placement down the drain.

Which leaves me with the actual problem I’ve got. How does one incorporate a ginormous couch with the X-Box guarding dragon, the train table, the end table that Biggest eats his Cheerios at, the rocking chair that he sits on to eat his Cheerios, the time out chair, my old rocking chair, the two baskets of toys I can’t fit in the toy cupboard, and the diaper bucket (we don’t have a change table, just a huge bin full of diapers and wipes).

Oh wait. I think… maybe… Yes! I’ve got it.

The solution is…..


(Dear Lord, is it possible to store my consciousness for a moment so that I may robotically put my living room back together, do the dishes, and not freak out at the children? No? Ok, well… may I politely request an extra portion of patience? Maybe upsize it to an XL?)

The Handler.


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