Happy Birthday Biggest!

Today marks Biggest’s 3rd birthday. So much has changed, and yet…


Then: Big hands, big feet, big nose.

Now: Big mouth, big mind, big ideas, biiiiig personality.


Then: Intelligent, yet easy to understand. Easily directed.

Now: Intelligent, clever, and I stumble all over myself trying to figure him out. Easily directed, has ideas of what he should do with directions that may not match your initial suggestion.


Then: Busy but silent. Sprouts random places. Doesn’t move much.

Now: Busy, but loud. Silence is bad. Very bad. Has springs in legs. And arms.


Then: Feed me, I’m yours. Foooooood.

Now: Feed me. Literally. I refuse to eat what you have made for me otherwise. Except french fries. I’ll make an exception for those.


Then: Silent observation.

Now: Observation followed by mischievous action.


Then: Me: Parenting is easy, just add water.

Now: Me: Ha! Hahahahahahahahaha. Oh ignorance… Handler, you were an idiot. Quite possibly, you may still fit into that category. We’ll see how 3 goes.


Well, my dear boy, if you can survive me, we’re gonna have a great year. I can’t wait to see what shenanigans we get into.


Speaking of shenanigans…

There is nothing like having a hot bath when the kids go to bed. Unless, of course, you get the comedy of errors version like I did yesterday. In retrospect, I should have had a 2 minute shower and locked the door.

So. The kids went to bed late. We had some suppertime funny business, but for the most part, all was well. I thought of drawing myself a bath, added Biggest’s Toy Story bubbles (which smell great by the way), and set about putting my plan in motion. Biggest decided that last night was the perfect night for multiple pranks, especially since Daddy was gone, and poor unsuspecting Mommy was in the tub. After the first time of heaving myself out of the bubbles and wrapping myself in a shark towel (I forgot one of my own in my haste to enjoy bliss), I should have just given up. But I didn’t. Partly because the first half of my bath was full of very cold water, and I’d finally gotten to the hot part of it. Biggest woke Littlest up, Littlest got thirsty, screaming ensued. Keeping in mind that this was after multiple water and pee requests. I finally get everyone down with “pain-of-death” warnings to go to sleep. I hop back in my bath. The bedroom door opens. I hastily pull the curtain closed. Biggest comes in and says he has to poop. Having already pooped twice, I sincerely doubted this to be an accurate assessment, but since he was already in the bathroom and I was naked and immersed in bubbles, I let him try. I became prisoner in the tub. He sat, pretended to push a bit, fiddled with his feet. Said he was done. I told him that if he said he needed to poop, he needed to actually wait until he pooped. He did the pretend stuff a bit more, tried to pull it again, and it failed. Honestly folks, if I wasn’t up to my neck in bubbles with a three year old on the toilet, I probably would have just gotten up and taken him back to bed. It’s a little difficult though when you’re naked and they’re asking questions about boobs and bits. Anyway, by the time all of it was done, Biggest didn’t get to bed until ten.


I’m exhausted. I’m procrastinating cleaning my house. I have to go put Biggest for a nap before everyone gets here because quite frankly, he’s been a beast this morning, and adding cake and gifts to a napless mix seems destined for disaster. Mind you, at this point the cake by itself seems like a disaster waiting to happen regardless.

Here’s to the threes.

The Handler.

Dear Biggest, despite all of our fusses and bothers, you’re a great kid. I love you so much, and I think you’re turning into a great little guy. While you try my patience on a daily basis, I am confident that you will be a determined individual who will stop at nothing to achieve your goals.

Love Mommy.


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