Here We Go Again. Again.

I’m pretty sure I’ve already made my opinions on birthday parties perfectly clear, however, just in case anyone missed it… I hate birthday parties. Guess what gift Biggest’s party left me? A flu. Again. At this point, I have come to dread the week after such an event, as someone inevitably starts coughing, shivering, sneezing, or dripping in some way. Considering that we are normally a healthy lot, I’m at a loss. In fact, a small part of me has come to understand the Lysol lady. Of course, the other part of me screams “You’re killing the good bacteria! Just put them in the tub with some dish soap! And you have to rinse it off anyway! And even if I did try to use it, it doesn’t come out like that… more like a bunch of droplets… which makes it about as useful as the bathtub, but more expensive!”. But that’s beside the point. And yes, I’m a little insane in the membrane. It’s ok, I’ve come to terms with it.


Currently, I’m resisting the urge to:

A) Research the crap out of the internet to try and find a cure suitable for a 3 year old and a 1 year old.

B) Lysol everything, defying most of me.

C) Scream: We’re all gonna die!!!

D) Scream: We’re doomed! I’m going to go crazy and we’re doomed!

and E) Sing Doom doom doom doom doomie doomie doom doom. (Yes to Invader Zim! I have an old boyfriend to thank for that gem.)


Instead, I’m going to be productive and:

A) Throw all the toys in the tub with dish soap once the risk of hacking up fresh germs diminishes.

B) Rely on the foggy memories I have of childhood to try and make Biggest comfortable.

C) Be secretly thankful that those memories include sitting in front of the TV with fluids.

D) Cleverly disguise a nap in the form of being tucked in on the couch watching Chuck And Friends. (considering the way his eyes look, I’m hoping he’ll be out by the third episode.)

E) Call my mom, sing Doom Doom Doom Doom Doomie Doomie Doom Doom anyway, and pick her brains on what she used for me when I had a sore throat.

And F) Take this opportunity to get on top of the housework. (Ha! A likely story…)


In other news, my new weekly meal plan is working better than expected. We’ve actually eaten well all week, and after almost panicking because we only had half a jug of milk left, I realized I only had 2 days to go before I go shopping again. Most of my dishes have turned out, which is good, considering my track record for cooking something edible that does not include KD or Shake and Bake. I did, however, have an unfortunate incident with my hashbrowns yesterday. I made roasted sweet potatoes and pork chops for dinner on Sunday, and undercooked them slightly. So I put them back in the oven, and promptly forgot about them. I remembered in time to save most of them, but let’s just say that the bottoms were “caramelized”. I figured they’d make great hash the next day, and did so. It’s a really good thing I tasted it first before giving the kids theirs. It was awful. Completely blackened. I bravely smothered the lot in sour cream, and put some regular hashbrowns on for the kiddos. I’m afraid to admit, it was so bad, the sour cream did nothing. In fact, I got a stomach ache after 6 bites. Note to self: repeatedly flip sweet potatoes when roasting. Do not use for hash the next day.


Now if you’ll excuse me, it’s very, very, very quiet in the living room and I am eager to check on the progress of my subterfuge.

The Handler.


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