Doom Doom Doom Doom Doomie Doomie Doom Doom

(Theme song brought to you by Invader Zim)

We are officially in the “No means Yes” stage. In fact, it may better be described as the “I’m Going To Do Everything The Opposite Of What You Just Told Me” stage.

“Put those in the garbage.” means “Play with them on the floor.”.

“No you can’t have those.” means “Take them anyway.”.

“Sit down.” means “Run down the hallway.”.

“Go pee.” means “Stand still and stare at me.”.

I’m not even going to tell you what goes into the reverse psychology required to get “Wash your hands.” across. Furthermore, even if the point goes in one ear properly, it gets out the opposite ear with unprecedented speed. More impressive still, Littlest has learned all of this from Biggest, and he’s not even 2 yet.

I’m doomed.

Now that we’ve settled that fact, it stands to reason that my kids have invited me to experiment with mind games in order to maintain not only my sanity, but their existence as well. My house feels like a death trap. Speaking of which, I’m off to get some housework done. Seeing as our ears are just not working, I am forced to make sure that the truly dangerous problems are solved in an urgent fashion. Like the Duplos I keep stepping on, I’m seriously frightened of having to switch over to Lego, because those things are a million times smaller than Duplo. To say nothing of little tiny die-cast cars that have surprisingly sharp parts to them.

Anyhow, I’m going to finish my coffee. They will know the might of Mommy. (If not, you will find me in the corner rocking myself, or possibly locked in the bathroom with what’s left of the marshmallows.)


The Handler.


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