Invisismoosiboo


Invisismoosiboo (Invis-i-smoo-sib-boo)- the name given to the animal ridden by Thranduil, the Elven King in the Hobbit movies.

I bet you’re wondering why I am discussing such a random topic today. Well, for starters, nothing is new here. The Thumb is still Thumbing, we’re still getting an A+ in noise production at the pool… Etc. and so forth.

More importantly, however, the Invisismoosiboo plays a vital role in my everyday living. Not only is it the running joke between my sister, brother-in-law, husband and I, but it’s also extremely convenient as an excuse.

Dishes still dirty? The Invisismoosiboo took up the kitchen.

Can’t find your keys? The Invisismoosiboo ate them.

Late out the door? The Invisismoosiboo sat on you and therefore you couldn’t get up.

See? It totally works.

I’m sorry. You’re probably super confused. If you haven’t watched the three Hobbit movies, you should. They’re pretty awesome. I like them a lot. But… the last one was a little odd, most particularly because of the Invisismoosiboo. (I tried to find a photo for you, but I couldn’t, partly because Google doesn’t know what an Invisismoosiboo is, and partly because it’s well.. Invisible.) To give you a visual, I am going to have to paint a mental picture for you, because that’s all I’ve got. I even thought of drawing you one, since I couldn’t find a picture, but it would be a blank image, so here goes nothing.

Picture a moose.

A white moose.

Now make the rack twice as big as a moose’s, and give it the body of a caribou.

Make the body half the length it should be.

You now have a Smoosiboo.

It’s like a cube with antlers. Big antlers.

Now, the only thing left to bring you up to date is to explain why it’s an Invisi-Smoosiboo, instead of just a Smoosiboo. During the film, they attempted to recreate the butt-clenching, heart-pounding, white-knuckle action that all of the battles in Lord of the Rings gave you. But let’s be honest. Dwarves with orc-ramming mountain goats and unearthly tunneling caterpillars really just have a different kind of feel to them. Nonetheless, the Smoosiboo should have been the saving grace of that crazy action. I mean, the first battle scene you see him(it?) in, it’s dragging four orcs around with its antlers. But alas, the action just wasn’t meant to be, because somehow a single stray arrow right in the shoulder blade downs this massive cube of animal, moose, and possibly cariboo flesh. Disappointing to be sure, but in the very next scene with the De-Moosed King of the Elves, it’s gone. Somehow that huge, and yet compact, beast has completely disappeared. The only logical conclusion is that becoming invisible is an Invisismoosiboo’s defense mechanism brought on by injury to the shoulder blade.

So there you have it folks. The definition of an Invisismoosiboo. And since you can’t see him (it?), he becomes the perfect explanation to a variety of failings and or illogical happenings.

The next time you don’t remember your alarm going off, you can officially blame it on the Invisismoosiboo. You’re welcome.

The Handler.

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