This month has been a cluster-bomb of cleaner-dodging, herb-evading, rinse-cycle-defying germs determined to make my life miserable. Despite cleaning everything in my house, drinking every herbal infusion thought to aid in repelling evil germ invaders, giving up on herbs and chugging enough water to make a whale float, we’re still sick. And have been, repetitively, for the last four weeks.

I managed to avoid said germs up until last week, but alas, they proved too numerous, and two days of laying flat on my back ensued. It’s difficult laying on one’s back with two small children, on a side note. Regardless, everyone somehow survived…


My spring allergies have kicked in.


Littlest is just getting over the cough from three weeks ago, and woke up two days ago with…

An eye infection.

Which spread…

To his other eye…

And required a thorough bleaching of all toys and most playroom surfaces. On top of everything else I’ve been doing.

Despite all though, our spirits are still bright, and I’m going to provide you with a couple hilarious moments during the Sickness(es).

Biggest: (this morning, as he was helping me take all the clean toys out of the bathtub) I’mmmmmmmmmmm the delivery guyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

Me: Where’s my delivery guy?

Biggest: I’mmmmmmmmmmmmm the delivery guyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

Littlest: (to Biggest) Cracker?

Biggest: (intuitively opens the garbage truck hatch) Cracker?

Littlest: CRACKER!!!

(apparently a new snack vault)

Littlest: (during Biggest’s swim lesson) WHERE BIGGEST?

(spots Biggest and points) BIGGEST!!

(this particular scenario applies any time Littlest can’t see Biggest… and trying to keep Littlest on my lap for a full half hour when he wants nothing more than to walk over to Biggest in the middle of the pool is nothing short of impossible. I think it would be easier to arm wrestle a goat)

Littlest: Pee?

Me: Yes, I’m on the toilet. (reaching for the toilet paper)

Littlest: Nose? (he thinks TP is solely for blowing noses, and Kleenex is for taking out of the box)

Biggest: (upon realizing there’s a party in the bathroom) I’M COMING TOOOOOOOO!

No such thing as privacy people!

Other tidbits to note:

1. Littlest has no volume control. He has loud, and louder.

2. My children fight over sharing. Yes, that’s right. If Biggest wants to share with Littlest, Littlest won’t let him. If Littlest wants to share, Biggest won’t let him.

3. Biggest was named the sweetest little boy ever today after his lesson, as he slipped and got a little more of our pool than he anticipated, but was still brave enough to put his all into the rest of the lesson anyway.

4. Both of my children love helping. I feel extremely lucky, especially after Biggest came up to me a little while ago, after I was done most of my chores, and asked me (his exact words) “Is there anything you’re needing help with, Mommy?”. melt. Littlest takes a bit to get going, but once he starts, it’s hard to get him to stop. Case in point, you ask him to put something in the laundry, and if you’re not careful, your entire CLEAN laundry bucket will also be handily placed in the to-wash pile. The other alternative is that he got side-tracked with the toilet and stuffed the sock he was carrying right into the bowl.

5. They both love washing their hands. Biggest is now to the point where he comes careening out of the washroom and yells “SMELL MY HANDS MOMMY!” Littlest gets mad if you turn the water off.

6. Also, as some of you know, while I don’t go to church, I still have a very healthy faith, and it makes my heart glad when my boys follow suit. We normally say goodnight to God before I close the door, but the last two days, I hardly even pull the blanket over Littlest before he starts pestering me “Gond?” and points at the ceiling. Apparently we have to say good night to God before naps too.

7. I beat my fundraising goal for my 10k next month!

8. I finally got my good running shoes (thanks Mr. R!) and they’re amazing. They’re also bright pink. When I brought them home, Biggest took one look at them and went “Whoaaaaaaaaaa, COOL!”. I think they’re acceptable.

9. I’ve restarted my yoga routine (now with mat!) and I cannot believe what a difference it makes! That being said, I am incredibly sore because I missed 5 weeks of it.

10. Biggest and Littlest have both fallen in love with our bus rides. I’m going to be a bit sad when we go back to a car. The first thing Littlest does during our morning routine is run and point at his shoes. “Shoes??” “Bus??”. He had a full-on tantrum this morning when he found out we had to wait until this afternoon to go for a bus ride. Yikes!

There you have it folks. My life as it stands right now.


The Handler.


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