The Real Adventure Begins.


Wow. It’s been a little while, hasn’t it?! A couple of reasons for this: one, I’ve hardly had the time to put together something intelligible, and two, even if I did, there seems to be a large pile of stuff that accumulates on my office chair (mostly put there by myself), so when I do seem to have a moment, I look at the pile and go “Tomorrow. I’ll do it tomorrow.”. Classic procrastination tactic.

Which is why I am on my computer, putting together my thoughts, while simultaneously getting up the nerve to organize my Shiz. Writing was one of the things on my “Shiz List” so I’m still getting something done, even though I’m sitting on my butt. The fact that I have a poker game open on the other window has absolutely nothing to do with anything, and should be paid no further notice. Also, I’d tell you the whole “Shiz List”, but it’s mildly embarrassing, and I’d prefer to leave it in my head. It’s not like you’re really missing anything, as most of the stuff on it is things like “pick up underwear” and “match socks” and “organize my business supplies” and “make a sample order”. Along with “homework” and “research” that I’ve had on my list for who knows how long and isn’t really a major priority right now given everything else I’m trying to balance.

Speaking of which, I really feel a little like an octopus trying to juggle with only one tentacle. I’ve switched my morning training to right after work, as I have a better quality morning (and therefore better quality time with my children) if I keep my early hours quiet. Also, getting out the door for 7 in the morning really just isn’t my cup of tea. At least… right now it isn’t. That’s when I like to be passing out in my teacup while the boys are eating their first breakfast. That’s right, I said first. They’re like hobbits. They can have a full breakfast in the morning when they wake up, but if you leave it at that, they start whining like that scene in Lord of the Rings where Aragorn’s leading them out of Bree, tosses them an apple, and Merry and Pippin have a freakout about him not understanding the need for second breakfast, brunch, lunch, tea, dinner, supper and whatever else is in that list. So I’ve started feeding them a second breakfast, and the whining has gone down considerably. My brain occasionally goes into overdrive though and has a momentary curls-up-and-rocks-itself pause while it considers the ramifications of teenage boy-hood in proportion to how much food I already have to keep in the cupboard.

In other news, I guess you’d probably like to know what Biggest and Littlest have been up to.

Biggest will go first. Biggest learned how to balance his balance bike the other day. It was pretty exciting! He’s also starting to show just how intense his thought processes are going to be. For instance, he was being rude to Littlest, so he lost his reading-before-bed privilege. Since he was angry about that, he decided to peel a hole in our plaster wall. Yes. A hole. The entire surface is roughly 8″ long and 6″ high, although there’s only about a 2″ hole that’s all the way through the plaster. I’m pretty sure the rest was paint. That earned him a fairly large portion of trouble, but I find myself concerned, as he’s extremely clever, but he also doesn’t put much into words. My hubby and I have to be constantly on top of him to make sure we know what’s going on in that little brain of his. This particular instance was one of the biggest reasons I switched my training time, and I’ve seen really great results in less than a week. Continuing on, Biggest also blew me away in a good way. We have this really awful bean mix that I will never ever cook, and both boys love playing with it. Or should I say, their cars like driving in it. Anyway, on this particular occasion, Biggest wanted to play with said beans, and I hadn’t wiped down the table yet, so I told him he’d have to wait a moment. A short while later he came up to me, and asked me for a cloth. I thought he was just whining, and I was about to talk to him about his tone of voice, but instead, I asked what he wanted it for. Turns out, he wanted to wipe the table down so I could help him with the beans faster. Not only was I blown away by the initiative AND logical problem solving, but he also did a stellar job. He climbed up on each chair, wiped what he could, and went on to the next. I couldn’t have asked him to do better. Last thing I should mention is that he has discovered an early obsession for “boobies”. I was unaware that this was something that started at 4, but apparently, it has occurred. I’m not ready for this. At least his obsession is more “When I’m big, I’m gonna grow boobs too!”, rather than “I want to see your boobs.” (thank heavens), however, I’m at a loss as to how to explain this to him. I settled for telling him that when he was older I would tell him how he could get boobies, and that gives me at least 6 – 10 years before I have to break it to him that in order to have boobies, he’s going to have to be a real gentleman to someone with a pair. In the meantime, I’m just trying to avoid a repeat of the other day, when he yelled off our balcony “No, Littlest! I don’t see any boobies. Oh well!” followed by “Littlest is a BOOOOOB!” on the way inside. True story, I couldn’t have made that up even if I had wanted to. (I have no idea where he got any of that by the way, hardwired perhaps?)

On to Littlest! Littlest is still, well, Little. Our big excitement with him is mostly the fact that we got to buy him bigger shoes. Well, they would have been bigger, but unfortunately the pair we settled on fit really big, so they’re still technically the same size. If they had been his old shoes, they would have been a size bigger, so that counts, right? He’s also improved significantly when he talks, and we’ve had two compliments in the last week about how well he speaks for a two year old. Maybe he’s just too busy talking to put effort into sprouting? I think he may actually have grown a little bit though, because he can now climb up and off the couch, but there’s a small part of me that’s sure it’s just an illusion and he just got smarter about how he gets up. Otherwise, he’s become fascinated with washing his hands, yelling “MINE”, and making a large ruckus in general. Oh! I should also mention that he walked all the way home from one of our adventures, for the first time ever! My aching shoulders are thrilled. I feel a bit like that sounds “cater-y”, but with how little he is, it’s been a bit of a struggle for him to have that sort of stamina, and as a result, I’ve had to carry him much longer and much more often than I had originally thought necessary. I’m torn between thinking his stamina has improved (which it probably has) and thinking his shoes were bothering him (which they very well could have been). Not that I would have been able to tell, at least by asking, because the only answer I’ve gotten to the majority of simple questions asked has been “UP PEASE, UP PEASE, UP PEASE!”.

It’s really funny watching them right now. They’re starting to bond as brothers, instead of boy and baby. Biggest helps Littlest. Littlest helps Biggest. Plenty of giggling to be had and less screaming to be heard. It’s even funnier thinking about who they are. Biggest is tall and cautious. Littlest is short and headstrong. Biggest is quiet. Littlest is loud. Biggest is learning to teach. Littlest is learning to be taught. They are both growing together, and becoming individuals. Biggest likes green and Busy Town. Littlest likes red and Magic School Bus. Biggest loves tomatoes. Littlest loves oranges. They both love pears. Every so often I’ll peer out of my tea mug at First Breakfast and hear Biggest talking to Littlest:

B: Pea Nut Butter

L: Pee Butter!

B: No… Pea Nut Butter. Say it again.

L: Pee Nut Butter!

B: Good job, Littlest! Pea Nut Butter!

Warms a mother’s heart it does. And that’s the happenings in Gnomeville.

The Handler.

PS: I’ll try to keep the chair unburied.

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