Button Pushers


How is it that children know how our buttons are pushed? I’d really love to know the science behind that one. And so, I bring you Biggest and Littlest’s Top 10 Button Pushers.

#1. This one is from Biggest. When Mommy gets angry about your attitude, snort. It’s super simple. All you have to do is scrunch up your face, squinch your eyes shut, and growl a little in your throat. Presto! One perma-nnoyed Mommy!

#2. This one is a great idea from Littlest. When everyone’s done at supper, and you know no one’s technically watching, start dipping your food in your water glass. Doesn’t matter whether it’s chicken or sandwiches, it’s guaranteed to make the Mom twitch. Better yet, dip your whole hand in the water glass. That’ll get Dad too! It’s practically two-for-one!

#3. Reverse psychology. This one’s from both boys. When Mom is tired, do your best to be as cute as possible. If you’re Littlest, for example, you might ask for a “big, big hug” and a “big, big kiss” four times in a row at bedtime. Mom will eventually grow tired of this game, but not before she’s mentally furious for being so squishy. If you’re Biggest, ask Mommy if you can read her a story. How is she supposed to say no? I mean, she does sometimes, but there will be at least a few moments where she can’t resist.

#4. Biggest’s tried and true trick. At bedtime, tell the Parental Units you have to poop. Admittedly, you might have to really squeeze to get anything out, but since it takes so much longer than peeing, and since Mom and Dad are hardwired to allow poop, you’re guaranteed to get both of them frustrated and partially helpless.

#5. Littlest suggests that if you’re going anywhere, taking a slug’s pace down the stairs and pointing out every tiny thing on the carpet will really get Mom’s blood boiling.

#6. Waiting until a parent is out of the room, and subsequently playing on some forbidden apparatus is guaranteed to make both Mom and Dad really red in the face.

#7. Littlest highly recommends running away when Mom wants to change you for a real laugh.

#8. Biggest says that if you’d like to get Mom super annoyed crazy fast, whine. Whine about food, whine about puzzles, whine about the lack of water in your cup (that you previously dumped upside down). It’s a winner.

#9. Greet Mom as she gets home with a snack request. Don’t say hi. Just say you’re hungry… and watch the fireworks.

#10. Say stuff you don’t mean. Mom cooked your favorite food? You don’t like it. Dad asked you a question? Say you don’t wanna talk to him, you wanna talk to Mommy. Absolutely genius!

Have a great weekend! What do/did your kids find to be the best button pusher?

The Handler

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