Truth be told, before I had gnomes (err children), I always thought that everyone embellished what kids said and did to make it funnier. I mean, they were cute. But I was unconvinced that it was completely of their own doing. Well… clearly, I thought wrong. Take the following example (and I apologize in advance for the phrases uttered therein):
Biggest and Littlest were playing outside after helping me make salad jars. Pinterest, for once, had not over promised about how amazing these jars could be, and I was thoroughly satisfied with the endeavour. While I was cleaning up, the boys headed outside to our balcony to play. A short time later, I could hear them making a racket and singing. Seems reasonable, I concluded, since they’re outside. I went back to my cleaning. A couple of minutes afterwards, they were also giggling. I enjoy a good giggle, and naturally I listened in. Here is what they had to say. Sing. I should say sing.
At the top of their lungs. Outside in the sunshine. Doing the shimmy shimmy shake..
SHAKE YOUR PENIS! SHAKE YOUR PENIS! LITTLEST! SHAKE YOUR PENIS!
To which, as my consternation grew, Littlest replied, also at the top of his lungs, in the sunshine, while also doing the shimmy shimmy shake…
SHAKE PENIS! SHAKE PENIS! BIGGEST! SHAKE PENIS!!!!
They both erupted in what can only be described as the innocent delight of a three and five year old. I, on the other hand…
Somewhere between holding in my inevitable snort inducing laughter and the equally inevitable mortified chuckle, I managed to call them inside and tell them as nonchalantly as I could that perhaps we should choose a different song title to sing… and they both ever so innocently said simultaneously…
But it’s our favorite song to sing!
I can only conclude, at this point, that there are several people in my hometown that have heard my children sing this song. I can also conclude that the this lady, who wrote a gut bursting article about things she had to say to her boys, was not lying at all when she mentioned having to stop her child from wrapping his fork around the same item that my children were singing about.
I officially believe ALL the stories.
The somewhat horrified Handler.