I hate being sick at the best of times, and I’m sure Biggest and Littlest agree with me. You know what’s worse, though? Mom Flu. There’s been plenty of times post-Gnomes where I’ve been under the weather, but as a mother (nay! as a parent), it’s difficult to really do anything about it. Even worse, there’s been a handful of times where I’ve actually been laid out. We’re talking 3 times. That’s right, 3. Plus two more that were self inflicted and (in the midst of my self-loathing) I vowed never to have any such self-inflictions again.

But I digress. It’s nearly impossible to be truly laid out, barring wonderful husbands, but even then, children just don’t get it. This last week, we’ve all had the flu. Varying forms too.

Biggest got a stomach virus.

Littlest got a stomach virus.

Mr. Handler got a different stomach virus.

Mrs. Handler got a Mom Flu.


Biggest was fine in a day or two, although his appetite took a little longer to come back.

Littlest had two bouts of the same symptoms, but is finally on the mend.

Mr. Handler was fully passed out – minus symptom related content – for a day, and is slowly getting back to his usual self after valiantly ignoring symptoms to care for Biggest and Littlest, and eventually myself.

I made it through all of their illness without a scratch. Until my most recent set of days off. At which point, I got a Mom Flu.

I had plans, Mom Flu. I was going to tackle things, Mom Flu. I was going to take the mending Gnomes to the park, Mom Flu. Why did you have to be so rude, Mom Flu?

Whoops, lost myself there. You see, I spent both of my days off flat on my back. The first day, I slept most of it, to my chagrin. Mr. Handler did wonderfully, and I actually got the sleep I needed. Biggest spent an hour and a half cuddling my back, making sure I was ok. Littlest didn’t understand why I couldn’t hold him. The second day, every time I put more than a tablespoon of something (liquid or otherwise) into my stomach, it sent me reeling. I never lost my lunch, but the threat of losing it was almost worse. Furthermore, after spending two out of six days sleeping on the floor next to Littlest’s bed while he was ill, and after being too feverishly cold to move for another two days, and resting on my crooked computer chair too long for the remaining time I wasn’t at work… I have completely seized my hips. Adding in that my skin has taken a sudden dislike to my shampoo and my exzcema exploding from the sudden heat, I feel actually miserable.

But the true reason Mom Flu is thusly named? Life goes on. I still had to vacuum. I still had to feed children. I still have daycare prep tomorrow morning. I still have work to attend… Moms stop for no one. Also, even if I was able to take a week off and just be miserable… I couldn’t. Because I’m a Mom, even if I’ve got the flu. Oh Mom Flu**..

**Not to be confused with being sick of whining, even though I’ve got that too. That is Whinitis, rather than Mom Flu.

And with that, I’ve overextended my peace and quiet, and must head to bed. Fluids (such as brandy), and rest (not necessarily just sleep) are really the only cure for either of those ailments.

Mrs. Handler.

PS: I managed to get something besides pajamas on yesterday, and Biggest instantly gasped and said “Mommy, you look so beautiful!”. That almost cured the Whinitis all by itself.


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