It is really tough being a human sometimes.
It’s tough to be a parent. Getting up when you don’t want to, trying to have a good attitude for the day when you’ve spent your first waking hour dealing with squabbles and Cheerio demands. Leaving for work amidst sobs, or equally horrifying, leaving for work with your children not giving you so much as a goodbye. Coming home and putting a brave face on for bedtime, even when you just want to sit down and zone out. Wrangling little ones into the tub. Wrangling little ones out of the tub. Teaching children how to be responsible, even when all you see is their little baby faces. Being patient all day. Managing a lack of patience with grace. Realizing that everyone makes mistakes. Being strong when you just want to give in to have some peace.
It’s tough to be a person. Competition for jobs. Making your time count. Juggling your hobbies with the housework. Learning how to be peaceful. Maintaining peace. Being brave in the face of uncertainty. Fitting a workout in. Spending time with your significant other. Balancing schedules. Being flexible. Learning when to be inflexible. Saying yes when you want to say no. Saying no when you want to say yes. Understanding what matters. Making mistakes gracefully. Putting effort into a job you care about. Putting effort into a job you don’t care about. Knowing when to quit. Knowing when to persevere. Loving your family. Loving your extended family. Learning when not to argue. Learning when to stand up for yourself. Dealing with disappointment. Accepting responsibility. Figuring out how to stand out. Leading with dignity. Following with poise.
I could go on. And on. And on.
But I won’t.
Instead, I’m going to offset the reflective note of my earlier statements with a story or two.
Story #1: I discovered today that tea is dangerous. Not the actual beverage, but I managed to, during the course of my normal working day, smash my knuckle. You’d think that tea wouldn’t be that heavy, but it is. I was hauling something out of a box, and didn’t realize that my pinky knuckle was underneath the shelf above it. So I heaved, and promptly squished it. It’s bigger than my other knuckle and it’s purple. It still bends, but much to my dismay, it’s just painful enough for me to consistently feel it. And while I have a high pain tolerance, I tend to reserve it for things like sinus infections (surprise, I have one!) and labour (twice), and wisdom teeth (only had to take two T3s). So, here my finger lies, and here I sit, bemoaning its twinges.
Story #2: Biggest randomly burst out with “Daddy, this is the YUMMIEST dinner.” at the table today. Meatballs and rice. He’s had it before, but it caught us off guard, and it was hilarious. Typically dinnertime has a lot of “I don’t like it” (Even after the 20th time of having it.) or “But I don’t want to eat it.” or “I’m starving!” (followed by “I’m full” 35 seconds later) or “Can I have a snack?” (as it’s being plated) or (my favorite!) “HE’S LOOKING AT ME MOMMY!” with “BIGGEST(LITTLEST) COUGHED ON ME!” coming a close second. (It’s become a thorn-in-my-side-I-will-have-revenge-on-my-brother kind of game.) But tonight, we had “Yummy!” as the main verdict, and for that, I cannot TELL you how thankful I truly am.
Story #3: I was talking with Littlest on the phone while I was walking home, and he was telling me all about dinner. At some point, he said “Like meatballs Mommy! You like meatballs too? Daddy! Mommy likes meatballs too! Yeah, hahahaha”. He finishes everything with a funny little wiggle while he’s holding his hands behind his back, and the phrase “yeah, hahahaha”. It’s a good thing he hasn’t figured out how to do that with things he’s not allowed to do, because it’s really hilarious and I would have a hard time keeping a straight face.
Story #4: Biggest has started calling Littlest “Bud”. It’s really heart melting. They’ve finally started playing nicely and I am proud to say that I have had more than 1 full hour of uninterrupted reading time 3 days in a row. In fact, I’ve had enough uninterrupted reading time to have finished two of my favorite books in less than a week. It’s AMAZING what that can do for a mother’s soul.
Now if only I could convince them to stop whining at me for cheerios at 5:30 in the morning.
Eh, it’ll happen. Yeah! HAHAHAHA.