Sloppy, sloppy Joes.


So… dinner. Mr. Handler and I have been working tirelessly to try and “cook up” the energy to… well… cook dinner. The latest debacle was this evening. I attempted, earlier in the month, to  pre-prep dinner, and we were down to the last one. Sloppy joes. Pretty easy right? Wrong.

Ingredient #1: Meat. Burnt it, by accident. Covered with BBQ sauce to disguise the flavour, but it did nothing for the texture.

Ingredient #2: Cheese. The only cheese we had left was old-ish Swiss cheese. What could be wrong with that? Well, nothing really, except for the fact that it had a paper-like texture instead of a cheese-like texture.

Ingredient #3: Sauteed Onions. There’s really nothing wrong here except for the amount I felt would be appropriate to put on my bun.

Ingredient #4: Bun. Well… herein lies the real crux of the matter. Somehow, between the buns being frozen, thawed, and on the counter for a couple of days… they still managed to be usable. Note: usable does not mean edible. Since they were the only thing left to make sloppy joes with, we had no choice.

 

What happens when you put all these things together? A laughing fit halfway through dinner because no amount of water could make it go down. The buns were as dry and tasteless as sawdust, the meat was crunchy and over sauced as a result of being burnt (there wasn’t enough of it either), the cheese was indistinguishable to the point where I thought I’d left a paper wrapper on the slice, and the onions were in one huge clump in the middle of my bun.That’s to say nothing of the other brave people at the table who were politely thanking me for dinner, yet not touching it at all… We all gave up. I couldn’t stop laughing. We had cookies. I’m going grocery shopping in the morning. And that’s that.

A still slightly hungry Mrs. Handler.

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