We Surface Again!

*blub blub glub* *gasp* *splutter*


Oh. Right. Ok. So I may not actually be swimming right now, but this month has felt a little on the not-quite-drowning-but-maybe-should-have-pursued-swimming-lessons-a-little-longer side in an adorable always-wished-I-could-be-busy-until-I-was kind of way.

And, while I’m busy trying to surface, I have my usual shenanigans to rely on to keep my grounded.

Such as… my terribly awful green ideas. This happened not once, but TWICE in two weeks. It’s been pouring buckets here, literal buckets. The first time, I admit, was really quite random. I ended up being the October winner for our town’s #in2transit contest, and in my excitement at being recognized as @gnomehandler in the grocery store, I failed to make sure I knew where the office was to pick up my prize. (Which is amazing by the way! Thank you #in2transit!). It would have been more astute to calm myself and consider that maybe the office may have changed locations since the last time I’d been by, but, that was just not the case here. So. After failing to make my way to the office for a couple of weeks, I panicked. Pure and simple. So, on a cold and rainy day, Littlest and I had gone to purchase groceries. After a stellar (and heavier than average) find, I decided that lugging my find home instead of having it delivered along with the remainder of my groceries was a great idea. Keeping in mind, of course, that it was with the intention of pre-making a week’s worth of meals. (Incidentally, that failed miserably too, although my find remains wonderfully amazing.) When I got to the register, I cheerfully said my usual “paper will be fine” to the cashier, and carried on my way. Well. Why on earth would anyone in their mostly right mind think that paper in a monsoon was a good way to go? It’s a good question, really. So, with my heavy paper bags in hand, and Littlest in the other, we went and caught the bus. Only… having decided that this had to be THE day to go pick up my prize, I got off the bus early. Still monsooning, I make it across 2/3 of the crosswalk before my bag explodes out the bottom. Yep. In the cross walk. With the cars waiting. I sheepishly roll my zucchini (or what’s left of it) to the curb, and pack it in to the remaining two bags. By now they’re mostly overflowing, since really, I needed the third bag. And… I pick them up. Only, it should be noted that when it’s raining, puddles tend to collect at the side of the road. Really. I put the remaining two bags into a puddle. So. Here we are. At this point, I realize that my earlier hunch about leaking three-year-old-size rain gear is actually true, and my son is now soaking wet. And, looking up, I realize that I should have actually asked for directions. Because the office is not where I thought it was and I’m now standing in the rain with three composting-in-front-of-my-face grocery bags and a wet three year old. So what’s a Mom to do? Well. Since the rain gear is clearly not working anyway, I got the bright idea to use our dragon raincoat as a tarp/packaging material for the groceries. I bundle them all up in the dragon (I can’t even tell you how strange this looks). I give my soaking wet child my oversized red coat (which looks more like a blanket than anything on my tiny kid). And I walked home in my sweater. It should also be noted that I had to use the sleeve of my red coat as a leash-type device, since Littlest was unable to use his hands in my coat. I wanted to draw you all a picture, but it was so terrible it just couldn’t be uploaded. Three quarters of the way home I realized my phone was still in the bottom pocket that was three inches above puddle height. (It’s ok but holy man!)


AS IF THAT WASN’T ENOUGH… I went the very next week and took paper AGAIN. This time it wasn’t raining, but the veggies I chose were wet, and I left a trail of groceries for a half a block in the dark before I realized that there was a hole composting through the bottom of one of the bags.


Only one of the crazy series of things November has brought us, but I have to go to bed now.

Nighty Night.

The Handler.

PS: THIS time, I brought reusable bags. I also filled them with 50lbs of groceries and had to drag them and my screaming, stomping, fighting, punching creatures home (I think they resemble human males, but it’s hard to say.). I probably should have bought less, however I couldn’t resist the bacon. But one step at a time right?




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