So a little backstory. When I was a wee youngin’ AGES and AGES ago.. My mother started Elevenses with me. Back then I was tiny with ginormous eyeballs, so she’d hold me and talk to my big giant eyes at about 11pm. This continued for quite some time, and became the Elevenses Tradition. When I was a teenager, this would be my time to have a cup of tea and chat about my day, clearing my noggin for sleeping. It remains to the present, albeit less often due to my own collection of tiny creatures with ginormous eyeballs.
Which brings me to the Official Passing of the Elevenses.
Biggest and I have had our challenges. His mannerisms remind me of my sister and my husband, and yet, he’s definitely his own person. He takes a whole bunch of stuff in through silent, mostly unnoticeable observation. His brain goes a bazillion miles a minute, and he thinks WAY more than he lets on. In so many ways, he’s my complete opposite. And as such…. I haven’t got the first clue about how to really connect with him. (Littlest I find easier, because he’s me. Really. Which is exasperating but familiar. And he’s got a comedic streak that will put you at serious risk of cracking up at extremely inopportune moments.)
And that is where today comes in. I have had a heck of a time the last week. He KNOWS that I’m struggling to understand where he’s coming from. And he’s lonely. I don’t see a lot of him sometimes, and it makes me really sad when I see that on his face. So today, it all blew up. I was pissed. He was pissed. He didn’t want to listen. I didn’t want to listen. The crux of the matter, our mutual frustration point as it were, was getting out the door. I get so much sass when we’re travelling, and getting boots on to go anywhere causes me significant anxiety for the amount of fuss that occurs. And so… Mr. Handler helped us out. He sat me and Biggest on the couch, and got Biggest to tell me what was actually up, while helping me keep my anger down so I could listen. Did I feel like I was 5 again? Maybe a little. Did I need to be 5 again? Yes. Once we’d said our pieces, and understood what was going on… we ended up under a blanket laying on a pillow.
And began our Elevenses.
It’s really more like Sixes. Actually, we gave it a new name. Pillow Stacking. We dragged a whole bunch of pillows into a pile and snuggled up. And we talked. Turns out, both of us hate taking our pajamas off, because we’ve spent ALL night warming them up. Neither of us like turning the TV off. And both of us like to snuggle. Who knew? Something in common after all. Long story short, I told him if he used the code word “Pillow Stacking”, I would make every effort to put everything down, grab some pillows and pile underneath some blankets so we could talk. They say good relationships start with communication, so I’m optimistic. (This is really my first foray into my children actually growing up… and I thought 3am feedings were hard…)
Who doesn’t love being in a pile of pillows???
Littlest told me, after I got my hair cut this afternoon, that I looked like Daddy now.
Littlest has gotten a case of the DOODLE DOODLE DOOOOOs… a thing of my own creation. While he has not inserted his sing song doodles into a silent prayer time at church like I did… He did start doodling on a VERY VERY quiet bus.
Biggest coloured in the lines in an adult colouring book. In fact, he may just have coloured closer to the lines than I do.
Biggest has started to read words.
Tonight, Biggest got me to drive him to the dining room table in a laundry bucket. I may or may not have also been in the bucket. Biggest likes red lights. It was a pretty tight squeeze, but I hear Mommy power is an extremely clean and almost sustainable energy source.
That’s it for now.